The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVIII

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVIII

I know . . . I know . . . it has been quite a while since I have regaled you with one of my Hall of Shame blogs and you have my very sincere apologies for neglecting you. Please know that I have been wanting to write them, I have been caught up in other pursuits and just have not had the energy to dedicate to it.

The good news is that I have a really good blog for you this time (at least I think it is awesome – in my not-so-humble opinion!). So, check out the email from the creep of the month and read below for my email back to this cretin! Note: I am only pasting in the first of six (yes, six!!!) emails that he sent to me on MySpace in the course of three days. I then responded to him and blocked him. Complete and total insanity . . . there are no other words.

****

From: Damian Ar**ph
Date: November 10, 2008

Thank u, thank u, and thank u for being u Jenny.

I didnt write this on your page, cause I wanted it as private message for you...U know I want so much for you to accept me as a friend and I cant send you a request. Its kind of dreaaaaaaaaam that I found your page. When I went home yesterday after first finding your page, I wished you would want me too. Now I want more than anything for it to be true.

Can you please send me a friend request so that you can be part of my life? That would mean the world to me! Pleeeeaaaassseee! Love me, hate me, scream at me, beat me, just let me in your life.

It has only been a few days that the reason that I come to the net is a person who really makes me happy, and you know who she is!!! (winking). When I connect to the net, I come to your page and click on that picture of you and wish I could see more. But mmmm, precious and attractive. I wish I knew more English to describe that feeling it gives me.

Please write to me whenever you can. You are the one who makes me feeling like myself these days and I want you to be my friend more than I want to breathe.

Kisses, Kisses, Kisses,
Damian

****

From: Jenny
Date: November 13, 2008

What is wrong with you? Seriously? Do you have a screw loose in that tiny little brain of yours?!?

Let me just take a few minutes to provide you with some areas of improvement for your life before I block you from emailing and torturing me further with your nonsense.

1) I do not know how it works in your country, but in the United States, you scare women off by sending rapid fire emails the way that you did. If you really want to express interest in someone, send one email and if the woman is interested she will write back. If she doesn’t, then let it go. Do not turn into a psycho emailer and fill her Inbox with your whackadoo ramblings about how you want to spend your life with her. Believe me, if I had a pet rabbit, I would be watching it like a hawk right now for fear that you would be turning it into stew!

2) Your life in your country must be pretty sad and lonely if I became your reason for returning to the Internet after just looking at one picture. I would strongly encourage you to seek psychiatric help before pursuing additional romantic interests online. Alternately, I think a hobby might be a wonderful concept for you. And, no, looking at Internet porn is not a hobby.

3) I would encourage you to go back and read the first email that you sent to me because it was wrong on so many different levels. The degree of ridiculousness of some of your statements will probably go unparalleled in my lifetime. Love you? Dream on! Hate you? You are simply not worth the energy! Scream at you? I would actually have to speak to you and that definitely is not going to happen. Beat you? Eeeeww . . . now there is a thought that just makes my skin crawl. What kind of freak show even makes a suggestion like that?!?

Now that I have provided you with some areas for personal growth, I am going to close my email and block you. There is no need for me to tell you not to contact me again, as I am removing the ability for you to do so.

Jenny

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVII

OMG! I cannot believe that it has been so long since I have posted a Hall of Shame blog! I have not deliberately neglected you all . . . nor have I not written a blog because I have not had anyone to roast . . . I have just not really been spending that much time on MySpace recently. However, my slacking has come to an end . . . because this loser was just too good to keep to myself!

Check out the email below that I received from a 47 year old, married man on myYearbook. He was not on my friend list or anything, but this was his introductory email to me. Below that is the ACTUAL email that I wrote back to him. I did not edit it for this blog in any way. I hope you enjoy reading it!

***

Sent by: HarleyJ**4u

Hi Gorgeous! How are you today?
i saw your profile and wanted to say Hello!
love to be a friend! love your pics and profile!
Check out my pics and let me know what you think!
Hope to chat sometime!
Love and Hot Wet Orgasms to You Dear!!!
Jim
HarleyJ**4U on Yahoo
HarleyJ**4U at comcast dot net

***

Sent by: Jenny H

Jim,

You have GOT to be kidding me! Was that really your attempt to introduce yourself?!? Don’t get me wrong . . . you started out decently by doling out compliments and feigning interest in my general well-being. But come on man . . . your execution is horribly flawed!

You say you want to be friends . . . that is believable . . . especially considering the age difference and the fact that you are married. Heaven knows that any woman of class and basic morality would never consider anything else.

So . . . you must be dying to know where you went wrong in your email to me. Well, first I have to confess that my curiosity got the best of me because you did not have a default picture posted. So, I wasted a few moments of my very valuable time to navigate to your page to check out your pictures. What a mistake that was!!!! I will probably never recover from the trauma of seeing you in your Hanes briefs! And while, apparently, some women on this web site seem to think that your ‘package’ is impressive, I am not one of them. Your two inches of screaming thunder did not inspire me to want to meet up with you . . . the only thing that it inspired in me was my upchuck reflex.

Next, I do not chat . . . so thank you for providing me with your contact information. Rest assured that I will not be using it.

Finally, in closing, I would like to thank you for reminding me just how revolting some men can be. “Love and Hot Wet Orgasms to You Dear!!!” Seriously? I just do not even have words for the level of ridiculousness that a statement like that has. What I do know is that you will NEVER be inducing either of those things in any way, shape, or form in my universe.

Now . . . I encourage you to get off of the Internet and go and pay attention to your wife. That is the person that you should be wooing. You are lucky to have one person interested in your lame-ass . . .

Jenny

P.S. You totally made my day with your email. I write a blog about losers that email me . . . and you just made the cut! >:-)


Jenny’s Note:
Geriatric Jim did not write back to my email . . . I was rather looking forward to his response. I was disappointed . . . but I guess there really wasn’t much for him to say. He he he he . . .

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVI

Back by popular demand is the Hall of Shame! You know you want it . . . so read on!

*****

From: John

damn damn damn you are gorgeous, kisses baby message me back and lets have some fun

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From: Jenny

Just because I have a morbid sense of curiosity, do enlighten me and tell me what sort of fun are you interested in having with someone with a relationship status of ‘In a Relationship’?

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From: John

well I want to have all kinds of fun ,but what I was referring to is you and me naked and me having seeing ,using and enjoying every inch of you baby

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From: Jenny

Lord . . . that is just pathetic! Get lost!

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From: John

shame, I find you exquisite, you turn me on big time, kisses and be well darlin


*****

So, here is my two cents worth.

1) First and foremost . . . this guy (I kid you not!) is 65 years old! Nasty, nasty, nasty! I am half his age! Soooooo not going to happen!

2) I got not one, not two, but three ‘damns’ from his guy. I’m a triple damn type of girl! I may just swoon at his sweet words . . . he does know how to lure a lady in, now doesn’t he? Sweet talker!

3) He wants to have some fun with me. What kind of fun do you think that was? My guess is that he wants me to check him out of the nursing home for the afternoon. Eeeeww . . . . just eeeewww!

4) Okay, so I could not help myself. I had to find out what the old dude wanted. Do you really blame me?!? Did you really expect the response that I got? Come on now! He wants to see, use, and enjoy every inch of me? Oh boy! There isn’t enough Viagra in the world for his geriatric behind for that!

5) Now, I do give the guy credit for being classy enough to call me exquisite . . . and for being intelligent enough to spell it . . . but perverted old guy doesn’t even begin to cover this one. The consummate dirty old man . . . and, naturally, he wanted me. Oh the joy of being me!

That’s all for today . . . but you know that I will be back soon with another Loserville to skewer with my rapier wit! I might try posting a picture of my cleavage to deliberately lure some suckers in . . . Ha ha ha . . . nah! That would be too easy! Like shooting fish in a barrel!

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XV

Fifteen! This makes fifteen Hall of Shame blogs . . . and they just keep on coming! I have to confess that this particular offender has been sitting in my Inbox for a couple of weeks now . . . and continues to send me ridiculous emails on a regular basis. Truthfully, more than anything, they amuse me . . . although it is definitely not his intention. Sadly, he is continuously hoping to ‘woo’ me with his words. It is soooo not going to happen!

Enjoy the poetry . . . it’s M’m! M’m! Good! If he lights your fire, let me know and I’ll hook you up with him!

****

From: donelle passion

Subject: a poem for a nice lady

jenny of my erotic lover..by donelle.
the woman of my dreams,
how in a 1000 worlds
of sensual and hot lust
can one woman have so much?
how can one woman be filled
with so much passion?... so
many ways to satisfy...so
many ways to kiss and
create magical fire...how
can one woman be so perfect
in her every tender touch
and word?...the only way
you my goddess from eros
can have so much is because
of your free spirit and
desire to be who and what
you are...you are total woman

****

The woman of his dreams? The poor guy must suffer from night terrors if I am the woman of his dreams. I feel sorry for him!

How can one woman be so perfect in her every tender touch and word? How would you know freakazoid? I have never (and will never) touch nor speak with you! Derp!

So, I am really and truly not going to shred this guy into pieces. But, seriously, I am not one of those women that is deeply moved by poetry. And, even if I was, I think that it is absurd to send bits of nonsense like this to random people! I am 100% positive that every woman on this guy’s friend list received the poem, which definitely doesn’t make me feel special . . . but since he did take the few seconds out of his life to type my name in at the beginning, he does deserve some special credit.

I’m still in stitches over here . . . and I hope that you were as amused by this drone as I was.

Yours,
Jenny of My Erotic Lover
*collapses on the floor with laughter *

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XIV

After a brief absence from the Hall of Shame, I am glad to be back with a real doozy! Read below for the background on the situation, the actual emails, and my two cents worth on the end of yet another friendship. Although, I have to say, it is no great loss.

This boy (and I mean ‘boy’ because he is twenty years old) has been on my friends list for about a year now and is originally from the Philadelphia area – although he is currently away at college. At one point, we exchanged telephone numbers so that I could help him with a paper that he was working on in school (which he totally got an ‘A’ on thanks to yours truly). After that, he would contact me every time he was home, trying to meet up with me. Naturally, I do not have a romantic interest in a child . . . but I thought we could be friends. Wrong-dee-dee!

Over the past couple of weeks, he has text messaged me constantly – all of which went unanswered and he started emailing me on MySpace in an effort to arrange to see me when he gets home from school for the summer. I reminded him that I have a boyfriend (which is not technically the truth) but thought it would be nicer than just telling him that I was not interested. He didn’t really like that reminder . . . and kept pressing me to meet him.

He then started calling at random times, trying to get me to answer (which I did not do) – actually even calling when I was out on a date. It was hard to explain to my date why I was getting calls from a guy at 1:30 am. Sound like a booty call to anyone else here? Lord . . . the pain of it all!

So check out the end of our friendship, which I copied and pasted from the email chain on MySpace. And below that is, of course, my dissection of the ridiculous interaction.

*******

BIGDORK
i see u for got bout me

Jenny
In what way?

BIGDORK
i called u last week and i left a message for u

Jenny
You did not leave a voice mail. And you called at 1:30 in the morning, which pissed my boyfriend off.

BIGDORK
y dont u want 2 be wit me

Jenny
You are right. I do not want to be with you. I have repeatedly told you that I have a boyfriend, to which you said that you wanted to be friends. I am confused about your expectations in this situation.

BIGDORK
i told u dat is good

Jenny
Then what is the malfunction here?

BIGDORK
I dont want 2 stand u up or try 2 talk 2 u if ur not tryna get 2 know we and no way if u will like for me to leave u alone then that’s wat i will do

Jenny
Was that response even in English? Regardless, I have to go back to what I said before. Getting to know you is fine . . . but my ‘just friend’ friends do not call me in the middle of the night trying to get to know me.

BIGDORK
check this out im home from school wats up will u like 2 see me

Jenny
I do not really think so. Right now, I do not have time for anything other than what I already have going on. And I do not honestly believe that you want to meet up with me to be friends. I am getting very mixed signals from you, when I believe that I have been exceptionally clear with you about why I was talking to you.

BIGDORK
u know its fine how bout we jus stop and go on so we can both delete each otha

Jenny
That is perfectly fine with me. You are way too high maintenance to be one of my friends. Good luck with your life.

BIGDORK
bye

*******

1. I get it that you have crazy texting skills. It is obviously too strenuous for you to hit the ‘t’ and the ‘o’ and spell the word ‘to’. The number two on your mobile is going to be worn right out any second now. Then where will you be?!? Dork!

2. I get it that you are probably writing to me on MySpace from your cell phone. But, if the recipient cannot understand what you are trying to communicate, you may want to reconsider your methodology. Here’s a tip . . . you probably do not actually want to be with a woman that can understand your Ebonic ramblings. She probably would not be able to have a real conversation wit u!

3. Dude! You are more high maintenance than any chick that I have ever met in my entire life! You are whining because I don’t want to meet you in person? Why do you think that is? Maybe because you are a little bitch that has nothing better to do than try to meet up with seemingly random people from the Internet?!? If I wanted to be turned into a lampshade, I might agree to meet up with you. But, since I have the desire to live, I think I will steer clear. Thanks for the offer though . . .

4. The 1:30 am phone calls? In my world, your ass had better dead . . . because rational people do not call others in the middle of the night to shoot the shit. It makes no difference that I was out on a date when the call came in . . . it matters that you do not have the common sense or decency to avoid calling people at such an ungodly hour. Pathetic!

5. Not to belabor this point, but it seems to be a continuous issue in my world. If I tell you that I am dating someone, in a relationship, and/or unavailable, you need to respect that. Even if it is a bold-faced lie, you should have enough self-respect to stop pressing the matter . . . and if you don’t, then you deserve to have your ego shattered. Sometimes women tell harmless lies to spare your feelings. There’s no need to always crush your tiny little spirit . . . . but if you make it necessary, you know we are up to the challenge. So, asshole, get a clue! And if you are completely clueless, you may want to consider becoming a hermit. The world does not really need your presence. There is already enough stupidity going around!!!

That’s it for me for right now. My family is coming into town, so I am going to be very busy for the next few weeks. As such, there won’t be any other blogs immediately forthcoming. I hope that you enjoyed this installment in my series . . . sadly, you know I will be back with more . . . it’s only a matter of time! Stay tuned!!!

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XIII

The pain! The pain of it all! This Hall of Shame winner just really couldn’t buy a clue if he had a million dollars. Check out our email chain . . . my comments are at the end. He he . . . I did have fun with this one!

*******

Sent by: Pablo

jenny you so sexy i lake to take you out plz

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Sent by: Jenny

Lord . . . is that the best you could come up with?!? In case you missed it, my status says ‘In a Relationship’. So, get lost!

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Sent by: Pablo

am sorry i wait fo you he is a lucky man i see you pic and fall an love with you

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Sent by: Jenny

Are you not married? Seems to me that you have a picture of a wife and child on your profile. I’m so emailing her, you giant loser! Your faithless ass will be in divorce court by the end of the year!

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Sent by: Pablo

am sorry im an love with you you so sexy


*******

Jenny’s Two Cents Worth:

1. Okay . . . so, obviously, this guy has a very limited handle on the English language. All the more reason why he should refrain from emailing people like me! Loser! Go find some nice chica that wants your lame Latino attention!

2. Seriously! If you are going to use the Internet to try and commit adultery, do not use the profile that has your WIFE as your number one friend! For the love of God! How freaking dumb are you?!?

3. If you are going to be a total waste of skin, could you maybe take the pictures of your child off of your profile? Even if you and your wife are into some freaky crap online, your innocent child shouldn’t have anything to do with it. It pains me that people like this are able to produce children . . . heaven only knows what type of lifestyle that poor child has.

4. What in the Sam Hill makes people think that it is okay to throw the word “love” around all of the time? You do not love me, you giant freak of nature! It is very clear that you do not even know what love is . . .

5. I did email his wife . . . yeah . . . because I am a heinous bitch like that. Her response? A dramatic online sigh and a thank you to me for letting her know. She reported that her husband of eight years does this all of the time . . . and no, he really is not that bright. But, for all of that, she ‘loves’ him . . . I wonder if it is the same way that he loves me? It could explain a lot.

6. The truly tragic thing about this whole situation is that Pablo’s wife actually told me that she has interrupted several real-life assignations that Pablo set-up. Tell me, ladies, what would you do to little Pablo in this situation? Yeah . . . Lorena Bobbitt would have nothing on me! I guess his wife is just pathetic enough to put up with it . . . so I guess she deserves it. Maybe when she ends up with some communicable disease from her cheating husband, she will actually get a clue. But, I wouldn’t bank on it . . .

7. You are sorry? You don't say?!? Honestly . . . stop apologizing all over the place! I know that your ass is sorry . . . I knew it from the second that I saw the mail in my Inbox. Do the world a favor, would you? Kill yourself now . . . I will loan you my gun.

FYI: Pablo was never even on my friend list. He ‘fell in love’ with me based on my default picture alone. Mmmm . . . quite the femme fatale aren’t I? Ha ha ha ha . . .

Hall of Shame ~ Part XII

Well, it has been a few weeks since I have had the burning desire to write a Hall of Shame blog. Mind you, it is not because I have not had any fools to destroy with my rapier wit; I have just been otherwise occupied. But, there was just no way that this guy could escape without some special recognition in my favorite blog series. So read below for his ridiculous e-mail and for my commentary. Seriously . . . what a sad, sad state of affairs the world is in if this is the quality of men that find me attractive!

******

From: Arizona Whoknows
Date: March 13, 2008 11:41 PM
Subject: DAMN U R 1 GORGEOUS LADY CAN WE CHAT PLEASE
HI,IM ARIZONA AND I SAW U AND UR PROFILE MY YEARBOOK AND ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I THINK U R SODAMN DROP DEAD GORGEOUS PLUS I WANT 2 SAY IF U COULD SIT ACROSS THE PORCH FROM GOD U WOULD THANK HIM 4 LENDING ME 2 U "NO I WOULD THANK HIM AND GAVE HIM ALL MY PRAISE 4 LETTIN ME ENTER N2 UR LIFE AND SHOW U HOW A MAN SUPPOSED 2 TREAT A BABY GODDESS LIKE U WITH NOTHING BUT 2 SPOIL, LUV, AND PAPMER UNTIL HE TAKES U AWAY FROM ME I WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL 4 THE BABY GODDESS THAT HE GAVE ME 4 MY LIFE TIME CUZ IF I CAN SHARE JUST ONE MOMENT WITH U I CAN JUST DIE AND GO 2 HEAVEN A VERY VERY DAMN LUCKY ASS MAN REALLY I THINK U R SODAMN DROP DEAD GORGEOUS AND I WOULD LUV 2 GET 2KNOW U IF U DONT MIND SO "IF U LIKE LETS CHAT THERE NO HARM IN THAT" IF U LIKE IM ON YAHOO MESSAGER AT XXXXXXXXX@YAHOO.COM OR IF U LIKE HERE MY . ITS 540 397-XXXX CALL ME ARIZONA "THE KING OF TONGUES

******

1. Let me start with your chosen name. Arizona?!? Come on! I know there are some horribly ridiculous parents out there that name their children bizarre things . . . but to deliberately pick the name of a state as your name? Jack donkey!

2. Next . . . have you ever heard of something called punctuation? Well, obviously you have not. I will not even mention sentence structure, as you may break out in hives at the concept.

3. Shall we count how many times you cursed in the e-mail? Five! Boy, if you cannot even send an e-mail without swearing, what is the likelihood that you could converse like an intelligent person? Ummm . . . not very likely!

4. Typographical errors are not a good thing. If you are going to try to woo a woman with your words, make sure that you spell them correctly. You want to ’papmer’ me? Is that something kinky that I have not yet been exposed to? Well, regardless, I am not interested.

5. Did you seriously give me your phone number in an introductory e-mail? Come on! Do you know the damage that I could do with that? If I were even slightly less of a decent person, I would post that puppy online and have ten thousand people calling you within minutes. Fool!

6. There isn’t any harm in chatting? Maybe not for you . . . what about me? I would be rapidly driven insane by your poor grammar, foul language, and all caps! Poison eye!

7. The King of Tongues?!? I threw up in my mouth when I read that. I am still distinctly nauseous at the thought. In fact, I may never be the same.

8. You say that if you could spend just one moment with me that you could die and go to heaven a lucky man. Is that a promise? Because if it is, I think I could personally sacrifice that moment in time if it will save the rest of the world the hassle of having to experience you in any way, shape, or form.

9. If I am so drop dead gorgeous, why are you still alive? Hmmm . . . there is something to ponder. Go ahead . . . drop dead. I’m waiting . . .

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XI

Just because I am feeling a bit evil today, I thought I would post another Hall of Shame blog. The winner this week sent me an email from a private MySpace page that did not have any pictures included. Sure . . . you are a perfectly normal guy . . . not at all a psycho serial killer just preying on unsuspecting fat chicks. Read on . . . if you dare!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BBW_LOVER_ALL _DAY
Date: Feb 15, 2008 12:04 AM

i am a sexy blk guy that like white bbw to get to know and see what happens. if interested sexy email me and lets get to chat. I just like what i saw. What do you do?i am a biochemistry premed student who adores bbw. Have a great day. I am looking for relationship. Your true admirer is finally here. I have pics to share with you

*****

My two cents worth:

1) If you are so sexy, why don’t you have at least a default profile picture? Sexy black guy translates to ungroomed, toothless freak . . . especially if you do not have a picture to back it up.

2) “Let’s get to chat” – Are you kidding me? Sure . . . you do not use appropriate punctuation nor capitalization and cannot transition from one thought to another. Chatting with you would be an exercise in frustration for those of us in the real world that actually paid attention in our high school English courses.

3) Biochemistry Premed Student? Who are you trying to fool with that one? More like an unemployed, undereducated grocery cart collector from the Acme down on Market Street.

4) What do I do? Slaughter fools like you in my blogs . . . and I get an immense (and probably slightly deranged) joy out of it.

5) Your name is really “BBW Lover All Day”? Come on! What kind of self-respecting fat chick is going to go for that? I mean, we know we are fat . . . you do not need to announce to the world that you are only interested in us because you have some sort of sick fat fetish. Note: I did not change his name . . . so if you are feeling as mischievous as I do sometimes, feel free to message him to have some fun.

6) My true admirer is finally here? My lucky stars! I can now die . . . happy and content just knowing that “BBW Lover All Day” has successfully admired me! PTL and pass the pancakes!

7) You have pictures to share with me? Really? Wow . . . I am hoping and praying that they are of your two inches of screaming thunder . . . because your unwillingness to put your real picture on your MySpace page definitely has me intrigued about what you have downstairs.

Seriously . . . if you are a guy and on MySpace looking for love in all the wrong places, I would love for you to learn a few lessons from this Loserville.

Take more than five seconds to create the email of interest you are sending. It should not include every random thought that pops into your head. At a minimum, the message should include your given name . . . not some ghetto nickname that you think is amusing.

Take the time to read her profile and make sure that she is not already in a relationship before you contact her trying to solicit one. One would think I would not have to remind you of that fact . . . but seemingly, I do.

And, above all else, please post a picture of yourself. No one with half a brain in her head is going to give you five seconds of her time or take you at all seriously. Even if you look like a troll, at least the girl will know you have the confidence not to hide behind a blank profile.

All of that being said . . . I hope that you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. I definitely did . . . and my snarly mood today is no reflection of the stimulating holiday I celebrated yesterday. I love being struck stupid by cupid!!!

The Hall of Shame ~ Part X

From: Delusional Guy
Date: Jan 26, 2008 12:21 PM
im starting to fall for you sweetie and not sure what to do to about it..just thought you should know..take care

****

From: Jenny
Date: Jan 26, 2008 3:49 PM
Oh . . . I am not sure what to say about that. I guess that explains why you took me off of your friends list. I don't want to make your life difficult . . . so, if you do not want to keep in touch with me, I will understand. But, on my end, friendship is all I have to offer.

****

From: Delusional Guy
Jan 26, 2008 4:58 PM
Thats what I was afraid of I was never really sure of what you wanted from me, had to take a chance and tell you my feelings. I need and want more than just a friend Ive got tons of friends..this is indeed a sad day for me...
Goodbye my Jenny:((

****

From Delusional Guy
Feb 1, 2008 7:32 PM
biggest let down in a long time..oh well such is life i guess:((

****

From: Jenny
Feb 1, 2008 10:45 PM
I am very sorry that you feel that way . . . I wish that there was something I could say, but I know that there is not. I wish you all of the best . . .

****

From Delusional Guy
Feb 2, 2008 1:52 AM
i keep coming across pics of you..brings it all back..so i gotta delete all your pics and comments..this takes time and it hurts :((

****

From: Jenny
Feb 1, 2008 9:02 AM
I understand that . . . and agree that it is for the best. I do not ever want to be the cause of pain for you. Good luck with everything . . . I hope that you can find what you are looking for.

****

From: Delusional Guy
Feb 2, 2008 9:16 AM
what started out as a friendship has grown stronger everyday, I only wish I had the strength to make it stronger..i could say go fuck yourself,,but i wont.

****

From: Jenny
Date: Feb 2, 2008 3:41 PM
Wow . . . that's something new. Anger . . . and completely unwarranted. I think this will end our email communication. Good luck getting over me . . .

****

From Delusional Guy
Feb 2, 2008 5:17 PM

ive got no other choice but to get over you..its not like me to lash out in anger so i must insist you refrain from sending me anymore comments or messages unless its something you know i wanna hear..im still going thru alot of old comments and pics and deleting them..just too painful a reminder of what i thought was something special..i keep saying why me??:((

****

From: Jenny
Date: Feb 2, 2008 6:14 PM
You are the one that keeps writing to me . . . I am going to block you now . . . because I have NO time for this in my life.
No one did anything deliberately to you, so acting like a victim is not going to accomplish anything, but will prolong your alleged suffering.

**************************

So, I know that I said that I was not going to blast this poor guy
that developed feelings for me. But, I am no longer able to control myself . . . obviously he is no friend of mine.

1) If it causes you so much pain to see pictures of me, stop freaking emailing me on a web site that has a default profile picture! Oh the pain of looking at my picture . . . I feel so badly for you! Get the freak over yourself!

2) Do you honestly think that getting angry at me is going to make the situation better? I did not lead your loser-ass on. I made it more than clear that I wanted to be friends . . . and at least one of my other friends told you the same thing. Clean out your geriatric ears buddy!

3) What don't you understand about the statement 'I am in a relationship.' If I say that, I mean it . . . and if you allow things to develop on your end, it is your malfunction. Do not make it sound like I was unclear in my expectations of you. A faithless partner I am not!

4) Do you think that sending me whiny emails is going to lure me in? What kind of girl wants to be with a guy that whines like a little bitch when something doesn't go his way? Not me . . . oh not me!

5) No man that says they love me, and knows me at all, would ever send me an email that contains the 'f' word. Do I look like trash to you? If I do, you need to get your eyes examined . . . because I would never allow anyone to talk to me like that. You can go F**K yourself . . . because the only piece of ass that you are ever going to get is your own!

The Hall of Shame ~ Part IX

Happy fall everyone! I hope that the change of seasons has been kind to all of you. I am greatly enjoying autumn . . . it is my favorite season, after all! I decided to take a brief sabbatical from my ‘Hall of Shame’ entries . . . but I received this email on Fubar today and I quite simply could not withhold it from my loyal readers!

I swear . . . this is a real email . . . and it is absolutely from the sweetest kid. Unfortunately, when I say ‘kid’, that is what I mean! He’s nineteen years old! Sadly, that age difference is a bit much . . . but I wish him all of the very best.

I did give him a bit of advice. The advice, you ask? To not use every lame pick-up line ever said in one single email . . . it’s just a bit overwhelming! The other bit of advice was to not lead with ‘Holy Shit!’. A woman of class is certainly not going to get reeled in with that one! He he he he . . .

***

Subject: *smooch*
Date: October 21, 2007

Holy Shit! How did you survive that fall from Heaven?! Are you okay?! Wow you must be an angel! ...

Well now that you're down here, Do you have a map? I need directions to your heart but I keep getting lost in your eyes.

I am guessing you are either an angel or you are just so beautiful that instead of you exploding on impact on Earth...God spared your life because he didn't want to put all that beauty to waste.

You're so pretty.. It looks like you got way too much beauty sleep. You need to tone it down lol

You need some ugly sleep.. You are way too pretty :P No no no no.. We may have to bring out the big guns.

You are just way too beautiful.... You need some FUGLY sleep for at least 72 hours to balance out the universe.

And uhh... A little advice for use in the future.. Next time you fall from Heaven, just yell "KEVIN!" and I will come and catch you ;) ..Remember that 'Kevin' rhymes with 'Heaven'. ;]

Hell, you might want to consider just climbing down ;) I wouldn't take the escalator though... That thing is broken..But I will have some men up there to fix it soon. lol

The Hall of Shame ~ Part VIII

This email really bothered me . . . and for a whole bunch of different reasons. For once, it wasn’t some revolting piece of crap person emailing me for a bit of dirty talk or in a lame attempt to get me to hook up with them. This time, some undereducated fool decided to call me on the carpet for the text that I have in my ‘Who I’d Like To Meet’ section on my MySpace page.

First of all, I have to clarify that I do not have issues with ex-US people that have MySpace pages. What I have an issue with (generally speaking) are those people trying to use MySpace as a tool to get their foreign asses into the United States. The emails claiming that they ‘love’ me . . . that they think I am the best person on earth . . . and that they can’t wait to meet me are beyond ridiculous. If you send an initial email to someone, claiming to love them, you obviously have a serious screw loose. Most people that know me don’t love me . . . let alone random strangers online.

Second . . . I am a racist? Did this fool even take a second to take a look at my friends list to see that I have people of all races and nationalities represented there? I am not a racist . . . not by stretch of even the most mentally stunted person’s imagination. I can be called so many things . . . but a racist is not one of them. I do not pretend to be the most politically correct person in the world, but I do not believe that one race is inherently better than any other one out there. There are stupid people in every single race . . . I judge based on individual behavior, not on ethnicity. So, if I think you are an ass . . . it is because you are one . . . not because you are Asian, Indian, or Cuban.

Third . . . You want to know what I am hiding because I keep my pictures private? You will never know . . . because only my friends need to see anything other than my default picture. Keeping your pictures open to the public is ridiculous to me . . . it’s like inviting everyone in the free world to examine every aspect of your life, friends, and family. Who would do that? I really do not have anything to hide . . . but because the pictures and the people in them are part of my personal life, I am not required to share them with every jack donkey that can create a MySpace page.

Finally, I would like to conclude by acknowledging that some people may have been unintentionally offended or may have raised an eyebrow upon reading my disclaimer. I will not apologize for offending you . . . because I am not sorry if I did. What gives me the right to filter out potential friends on MySpace? Ummm . . . duh! It’s my world! I rule it and I get to decide! And am I sorry that you didn’t send me an email to solicit my friendship? *sniff* *sniff* Fine by me! You weren’t welcome here anyway! F**K OFF!!!

Side note: This tard needs to learn how to put together a complete sentence. I would have very cheerfully informed him of this fact. But, this individual was a coward and blocked me after sending the email. How very, very brave of him!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jack-Donkey
Date: Sep 13, 2007 12:02 AM
Subject: Your Profile

You are horrible. Stupid people like you should not be able to have myspace. Your disclaimer about not talking to specific type of people is just as ignorant as you are. What give you the right to decide that someone that does not live in the same country as you is not good enough to talk to? Ignorant. You surely are a racist to. Ignorant. You hide your pictures because there must be something horrible disfiguring about you. Sad. Thats all. I don’t want you to be my friend. An add is not being requested in case you didnt figure it out on your own.

The Hall of Shame ~ Part VII

Oh boy . . . have we got a winner for this Hall of Shame entry! This email comes to you via Fubar, which is another web site similar to the MySpace that we all know and love. So, if you are reading this and are on Fubar and want to be my friend there, send me an email and I’ll let you know what my Fubar link is. And before you even ask . . . I do NOT have any NSFW pictures there! He he . . .

There really isn’t much that I need to say about the email that I received from this idiot. Mind you, his name on Fubar is not IDIOT . . . that is my way of removing his identifying information to protect the asinine. I do not know why I bother . . . I guess it is a karma thing.

So . . . no words really necessary here . . . just know that I definitely did not meet up with him for my special birthday ‘celebration’. Eeeewww . . . just . . . . eeewwwwww!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: IDIOT Date: Aug 28, 2007 8:56 PM

Subject: U Horny?

Hello Jenny,

Nice to meet you, I'm IDIOT. I'm a computer programmer originally from India, came to USA like 5 yrs ago. I love here.

I love meet you and see it your birthday today. We should meet up for special birthday celebration. You and me in bed would make great birthday for you and me. I promise you best birthday ever!

By the way, you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!

I cant wait to come your house and see passion in your beautiful eyes. I take good care you and wear condom. Please write back now.

Waiting-
IDIOT

The Hall of Shame ~ Part VI

This is the sixth installment in my Hall of Shame blog series . . . and I hope that you find this one entertaining. I actually find it more tragic than anything else, but I will leave it to your ever-present powers of discernment to decide for yourself.

So, I get this email from a CRAZED girlfriend of one of the men on my MySpace friends list. This insane woman will go unnamed, because I really cherish my friendship with this guy and would never do anything to hurt him or damage his relationship with his gal pal. Note: If you are reading this and want to know if it was your girl, don’t bother asking . . . because I am NOT going to get involved. I am just sharing the abuse this woman hurled at me with the universe.

Mind you, I do not normally care when someone emails me . . . but when they do it deliberately to try and hurt me, I definitely take exception to that! And, normally, I do not write back . . . but I did in this case. And I took the high road and simply referred this pathetic shell of a woman to a blog that I wrote last year when I was having numerous issues with jealous partners of my friends.

A link to the blog that I wrote is included below, for your reading pleasure. It was great then . . . and is still one of my all-time favorites.

And since I know you are all waiting for it, here is my two cents worth on insecure and weak women.

1) No man worth having should be easily persuaded from leaving your side. If it is a valid concern for you, perhaps a hard look within might be in order. Or a visit to the psychiatrist’s office . . . obviously your medication needs to be adjusted.

2) You are sad . . . so sad . . . if all you have in life is the ability to email a long-time friend of your guy to accuse them of heaven-only knows what type of behavior. Know what I think? I think that if you have nothing better to do at 8:30 am on a weekday that maybe, MAYBE, you need a job.

3) Believe me, honey, I know that I am no raving beauty . . . but at least I have character and intellect that will get me far in life. Your pretty face will only ever get you a cashier’s job at the Sephora counter.

4) I do not have to degrade other women to make myself feel better. I just have to look around at your raging insecurity to know that you aren’t even fit for me to wipe my feet on.

5) This item is for the men out there that stay with these particularly ridiculous women. Look around assholes!!!! I can name you twenty women on their WORST day that would be ten thousand times better for you than these jealous, inferior, and pitiable women on their BEST day. Want a recommendation? Write me . . . I’ll tell you what I think.

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Crazy Bitch!Date: Aug 23, 2007 8:22 AM

Subject: Leave him alone!

Why do women like you do it? Why do you have to try to steal the good men that some of us already have? I know what you are thinking – that I am jealous, but I am not. I just want tramps like you to know that you will not always win. I know that my boyfriend would never leave me for someone like you but why do you even try? Why do you trail around after him like a lost puppy with the hope that he will throw you a scrap?

I think it is sad and pathetic that you have to latch onto the boyfriends of other women in order to feel good about yourself. Don’t think that I didn’t look at your friends list cause I did and I saw a lot of guys that are either in a relationship or married there. Why is that? Cause you can’t get someone on your own? I notice that your pictures are private. Is that because no one in the real world really wants to see you?

All I want is for you to think about what you are doing because you are only hurting yourself. None of these guys wants to be with you, certainly not mine.

****

Blog Link:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=38435234&blogID=194091407&Mytoken=F76008F9-4715-46C4-8AA1E3A6779FCC4117475357

The Hall of Shame ~ Part V

Good evening one and all! I hope that you are all having a great week! I am very pleased to bring you the fifth installment in my Hall of Shame series.

The loser this week is pretty much his own worst enemy. Too much information will sink even the hottest guy in the world . . . of which this dude was not one!

Now, there isn’t any way that he could have know this, but there is nothing more in this world that I hate more than a faithless partner. I try very valiantly not to judge others and the decisions that they make in their personal lives; however, when it is delivered into my email box, I get to comment on it.

Here’s the email from the loser “B” . . . his name has been altered just to protect his identity. I have not made any other changes to his email.

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: BDate: Aug 20, 2007 11:05 PM

Subject: I NEED to get you off!

Here’s the situation, I am a married white male who is bored with his current situation. My wife had an affair about 18 months ago and I found out and forgave her. We still have a good home life, but...our sex life, however, has gone down the drain. She told me last year to go and find a buddy to create balance, which I resisted until now. But 11 months without sex makes a guy think.

I know lots of folks will say just end it or whatever, but this is my situation to deal with. I do not need your insertion of morals of right and wrong here. My wife does not want to know what I am up to and hopes that I will play safely, which I absolutely will.

I like women, I won't lie. BBW's get extra credit in my book, only because I have been with a few and DAMN, they were all awesome in the bedroom. I love a woman with curves, who isn’t afraid to use them. I can look at your picture and see that you are very easily one of these women that I crave so much.

If you like to be pleased orally and sexually, then I am your man. I am a good-looking, easy-going guy who wants to worship every inch of you. Your picture has really sparked my interest. I hope to hear from you soon.

B

*****

If you have ever been cheated on in a relationship, be it a marriage or just while dating someone, you will surely understand where I am coming from here. So, your wife goes and gets her rocks off with some other guy . . . you claim to “forgive” her . . . but cannot resume your sexual relationship with your cheating wife. Then why the hell are you still with her? I can tell you . . . it’s because she will take your ass to the cleaner’s with the divorce settlement, alimony, and (one can only assume) child support. That’s why you stay . . . because you do not want to live in poverty following the divorce!

First, I have yet to meet a man that is able to go without sex for an extended period of time – especially if he has a wifey at home that can put out. At the very least, he is going to be plowing her just for a regular release. What makes a guy think that any reasonably intelligent woman is going to be interested in what he is offering?

Second, I would NEVER demean myself by staying with someone that was unfaithful to me. Nor would I ever knowingly enter a relationship with someone that is a known cheater. In my world, once a cheater – always a cheater. And I know that I am better than that . . .

Third, I don’t want some guy that is going to treat me like a slam chop and then return home to play dutiful husband to wifey and the kids. He surely isn’t going to have the cold hard cash to drop to squire me around town . . . and believe me, there’s no way a guy can breech my defenses, without some serious wooing!

Fourth, his cheating spouse probably afflicted him with some disgusting disease that he is looking to pass off on some unsuspecting BBW online. Wifey wants him to “play safely”? Isn’t that a bit much to expect? You know what you could expect? Some creepy crawlies . . . syphilis . . . gonorrhea . . . chlamydia . . . crabs . . . the list could go on and on. NO THANKS!

My profile makes it more than abundantly clear that I am not interested in meeting up with people for casual relationships . . . yet, these are the types of emails that I get with frightening regularity. I thank God above that I have self-confidence, self-respect, and love for myself . . . I shudder to think of the sad and pathetic woman out there that would fall for this.

That’s my diatribe for this week . . . stay tuned for Loser #6 next week. I’ve already got HER picked out! That’s right . . . HER! He he . . .

The Hall of Shame ~ Part IV

Greetings my treasured ones! Welcome to The Hall of Shame ~ Part IV!

I had a bit of a hard time selecting the loser for my weekly blog . . . not because I didn’t have enough fodder, but because I didn’t want to turn the blog into a diatribe on diversity.

So before I even go any further, I want to state unequivocally, that I am not now – nor have I ever been – a racist. I am a firm believer in equality . . . and do not think that race or gender have anything to do with a person’s worth. I am not posting these blogs to mock individuals of a certain race or ethnicity . . . if I were going to be a racist pig, I would proactively identify the race of the person that contacted me. So, make assumptions all you want . . . I cannot control that.

In this specific case, the offender identifies his race on his own . . . and if he is willing to put it out there himself, why should I censor it? Far be it for me to withhold information from the masses! So enjoy the message . . . and read below for the wrath of Jenny!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Love Her or F**k Her – S’All The Same
Date: Aug 12, 2007 12:05 PM

Whats poppin ripe one? I was browsin thru MySpace n came across your profile. Why you hidin your pictures for? A girl fine as you should be proud n show your goods. I can tell you that there aren’t a lot of women heres that are as nice lookin and as educated as you. Bein fat aint nothin to be ashamed of. Im a big boy myself n never mind showin off what my mama gave me! LMFAO!

It’s Sunday mornin here, so I bet that a sweet one such as yourself is off at church. You had best be prayin for forgiveness for being so fine! Dayum girl! Check out my page n let me know if your interested. I am the full package n know that you will think the same. I aint got no kids n am not married, so theres no baby mama drama heres. And Im definitely thinking that the combo of this dark chocolate with your white chocolate will be a sweet mixture. Im thinkin that we could make some beautiful babies together.

When you write back, lay out your Yahoo and cellie and I will be all over that.

Muah!
D

******

I received the email above on Sunday night . . . and it struck a really mean note with me. So, first he tells me that I’m attractive . . . even though I’m big . . . which is a good thing cause a girl can’t hear enough of that.

However, what I do not like is how he automatically assumed that I should be a good church-going type of gal . . . and then make a joke of prayer. What kind of sense does that make? If I were religious, I would have been mortally offended at his blasphemy . . . it wasn’t something that was going to enamor me of his ass, which is surely headed straight to hell! Strike One!

Then he proceeds to inform me that he does not have any children, which is of no specific consequence to me. With children or without, makes no difference. What I DETEST is that he said “there’s no baby mama drama here” like it was something that could have been inflicted upon him. Well, hello braniac! The guys that have “baby mama drama” bring it on themselves by not keeping it in their pants – or by not wrapping their package before delivering it. Furthermore, how does he know that I do not have any children of my own? Perhaps I am one of the women serving the “baby mama drama”? Strike Two!

Finally, what on earth makes this guy think that I am going to give him my Yahoo screen name and cell phone number after getting one gnarly email from his loser ass? Come on! Do these guys not live in real world, where there are stalkers and murderers around every corner? I may be overly security conscious, but give me a freaking break! Add to that, his profile was Private, so I would have had to request to be on his friend list to “check him out”. That was so NOT going to happen! Strike Three!

It’s pathetic . . . and painful to me that men like this continue to function. It astounds me that this guy actually has enough brainpower to walk upright every single day. It frightens me that, one day, he will procreate . . . and pass the cycle of retardation onto an unsuspecting and innocent brood.

That’s it for now . . . I am already queuing up contestant’s for the next blog. I’m thinking it’s going to be a real winner! Thanks for reading my blog . . . now leave me some love damn it!

The Hall of Shame ~ Part III

Happy Hump Day everyone! I hope that you are all braving the heat as best as you can . . . it’s been seriously hot in the Philadelphia area this week. But not as hot as my Inbox! It has been smoking!

I got the email below from a random guy on MySpace – that is neither on my friends list now, nor will he ever be. He is 33 years old, married, and has three children. Wonderful guy, huh? I am thinking of nominating him for a Father of the Year award . . .

Mmmmm mmmm . . . do you know what I spy? The man of my dreams . . . he’s uneducated, underemployed, and cannot type a complete sentence to save his life! As always, I have not altered the message below – except to remove this idiot’s name out of the “From” section.

Because of the horrific composition of the email, I have actually translated the message into English for you below his original. I adore you all so much that I just couldn’t allow you to also develop a twitch in your eye as you fruitlessly endeavored to make out what this fool was saying.

I hope that you enjoy the latest installment in this series. Inasmuch as some of my friends think that I am mean-spirited for writing these, I am seriously loving them!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: HALL OF SHAME ~ CONTESTANT THREE
Date: Aug 7, 2007 11:23 AM

hi mami i cant see all of ur picturs but im feeln u bg tme rght now. actle im feeln smethng bg tme rght now n it isnt just ur picturs lol

jst wntd 2 drp u sum mjr luv n let u no that im wntn u n a sres way. holla bac n I cn sho u wht i hav 2 ofr. u wil not be dspntd n mi 9 nchz. dntb a btch no n gnre dis. im sres bot u mami.

muah,
ur lvr


Jenny’s translation for those of you that are unable to make any sense of this message at all:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: HALL OF SHAME ~ CONTESTANT THREE
Date: Aug 7, 2007 11:23AM

Hi girlfriend. I cannot see all of your pictures, but I am feeling you big time right now. Actually, I’m feeling something big time right now and it isn’t just your pictures. LOL

Just wanted to drop you some major love and let you know that I am wanting you in a serious way. Holler back and I can show you what I have to offer. You will not be disappointed in my nine inches. Don’t be a bitch now and ignore this. I am serious about you girlfriend.

Kisses,
Your Lover

The Hall of Shame ~ Part II

Hi y’all! I hope that you are all doing fine on this lovely summer night! Okay . . . I actually hope that you aren’t doing too fine . . . because if you continue to read the latest installment in my Hall of Shame series, you are going to be severely nauseated!

So, this stud of a man (The Big Hottie) was on my friends list for a couple of months and I never really had any dialogue with him . . . so I deleted him when I was giving my friends list the axe last month. I guess getting axed turned him on, because I started getting emails from him. I ignored the first three sexually themed emails but there was just no ignoring this last entry – the entry that has landed him second place in my Hall of Shame.

As with the last blog, I have not corrected the text of his email. He’s not a “perfert” . . . but neither is he at all intelligent!

I have now blocked this scum of the earth . . . but thought I would share my misery with all of you. Happy reading!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: THE BIG HOTTIE
Date: Jul 14, 2007 8:55 AM

heres the deal. i start with ur head and massage all the way down to your feet. im sure it'll make you feel good .very good with my hands and ... well i wont go there but ill let your imagination take over from here lol

i wanna get vivid especially with a hottie like yourself. i like a woman thats not afraid to tell a man what she likes . im choosing my word carefully cause i dont want you thinkin im some kind of perfert . im a freak but not a perfert... lol i just enjoy makin a woman feel good and if a woman enjoys for a man to taste all day well thats what i do lol . i just look at you and cant help but get excited if u know what i mean. i see u have a very nice top end on you maybe u can share a few details when u can, shiddd maybe one day we can share a few photos that are not on display here, do u have some of those ? hmmm im hard jus thinking bout that and im sure i would look good to you in person as well.

i would love to find a time to conquer each other. hottie u have a sexy look about yourself and im sure if ever givin the chance i would show you how wild and erotic things could get. i wanted to write what i was thinkin in my mind but held back , maybe i shouldnt hold back my thoughts of u but i guess one we will be talkin about it right? i can get freaky at times lol

i use yahoo so hit me, kiss, please me, tease me, freak me . lol so i can do the same lol... well halla back at me when u can sexy

The Hall Of Shame ~ Part I

Welcome to the Hall of Shame . . . Jenny-style! I am going to feature blogs that contain very revealing information about the mentally impaired people that walk among us - and even worse (gasp!) - want to procreate.

Each week, I am going to regale you with my Hall of Shame winner, who is going to be the man (or to be fair, woman) that has offended my delicate sensibilities for that specific time period - most likely with an oh-so-lame attempt to woo me. The entries may include gross come-ons, pathetic jokes, or just a grammatical nightmare that amused me to no end.

So . . . to kick this off in true style, I give you Loser #1. He is a Rico Suave wanna-be that plagued my friends list for all of a week. His crime, you ask? Sending form emails soliciting female companionship online. And then thinking that none of the women he was “courting” would compare notes. Jack Donkey!

Please continue reading . . . I hope that you get as much enjoyment out of mocking this loser as I have. Note: I did not alter the text, punctuation, or grammar in the message. It’s all him baby!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jack Donkey (His name has been omitted to protect the stupid!)
Date: Jul 11, 2007 8:53 AM


Ok... So I just made myself look like a bit of a dummy because I just wrote you without reading all of what you wrote... I just read the last lines now... I did read the first part about that you are a "Fat chick and if you are not in to that then move on..." Well I am assuming that I am into what I see so far since I am still hear writing you... And I cannot assume that you are easy because you are "Fat"... Because I cannot even assume that you are "Fat"... People have different ideas about what "fat" is... Just as people have different ideas on beauty and what is good on a pizza and what is good music and what is bad... One man's "fat"... is most likely another man's treasure... As far as my being a "pervert"... Again I think it is all a matter of time and comfort of the persons involved... And what it is exactly what someone considers perverted... I do not think that it is perverted to be attracted to someone because they are "Fat" nor do I think it is perverted to be attracted to someone because they are "skinny"... I am a good guy and a gentleman... But at the same time I am a man and I have the same carnal urges and desires... Sometimes I think more... Sometimes I think way more... That we all have... Put it like this... I see you... and for that matter all women... as something to experience... Like a good meal... or a good bottle of wine... Somethings pictures cannot fully appreciate.... The smells... the aromas of the two body chemestries... the tastes... Salty and sweet... The tactile and touch senses of the soft and dry and the soft and wet... the feel of the skin and the flesh like a lightly floured dough... to be kneeded and worked with both a firm and delicate hand... Among other things... ;o) The pulsations and trembles and contractions of both the inner and outer bodies... The anticipation and the gratification of the moments each one different and leading into the next... Like soft slow kisses that turn in to passionate powerful lip-locks that at times would almost appear as thought their very life giving breath depends upon them... The slow entry and long and controled plunge that soon turns to a Pump of a piston in an engine and then back again to slow long and methodical multi-directional thrusts... And all of the rushes of blood and passion and sweat and ferver in between... Well I guess I have gone a little far with my words but I hope you get what I mean and I hope you are not offended... As of course that is the last thing I am looking to do...