The Hall of Shame ~ Part XI

Just because I am feeling a bit evil today, I thought I would post another Hall of Shame blog. The winner this week sent me an email from a private MySpace page that did not have any pictures included. Sure . . . you are a perfectly normal guy . . . not at all a psycho serial killer just preying on unsuspecting fat chicks. Read on . . . if you dare!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BBW_LOVER_ALL _DAY
Date: Feb 15, 2008 12:04 AM

i am a sexy blk guy that like white bbw to get to know and see what happens. if interested sexy email me and lets get to chat. I just like what i saw. What do you do?i am a biochemistry premed student who adores bbw. Have a great day. I am looking for relationship. Your true admirer is finally here. I have pics to share with you

*****

My two cents worth:

1) If you are so sexy, why don’t you have at least a default profile picture? Sexy black guy translates to ungroomed, toothless freak . . . especially if you do not have a picture to back it up.

2) “Let’s get to chat” – Are you kidding me? Sure . . . you do not use appropriate punctuation nor capitalization and cannot transition from one thought to another. Chatting with you would be an exercise in frustration for those of us in the real world that actually paid attention in our high school English courses.

3) Biochemistry Premed Student? Who are you trying to fool with that one? More like an unemployed, undereducated grocery cart collector from the Acme down on Market Street.

4) What do I do? Slaughter fools like you in my blogs . . . and I get an immense (and probably slightly deranged) joy out of it.

5) Your name is really “BBW Lover All Day”? Come on! What kind of self-respecting fat chick is going to go for that? I mean, we know we are fat . . . you do not need to announce to the world that you are only interested in us because you have some sort of sick fat fetish. Note: I did not change his name . . . so if you are feeling as mischievous as I do sometimes, feel free to message him to have some fun.

6) My true admirer is finally here? My lucky stars! I can now die . . . happy and content just knowing that “BBW Lover All Day” has successfully admired me! PTL and pass the pancakes!

7) You have pictures to share with me? Really? Wow . . . I am hoping and praying that they are of your two inches of screaming thunder . . . because your unwillingness to put your real picture on your MySpace page definitely has me intrigued about what you have downstairs.

Seriously . . . if you are a guy and on MySpace looking for love in all the wrong places, I would love for you to learn a few lessons from this Loserville.

Take more than five seconds to create the email of interest you are sending. It should not include every random thought that pops into your head. At a minimum, the message should include your given name . . . not some ghetto nickname that you think is amusing.

Take the time to read her profile and make sure that she is not already in a relationship before you contact her trying to solicit one. One would think I would not have to remind you of that fact . . . but seemingly, I do.

And, above all else, please post a picture of yourself. No one with half a brain in her head is going to give you five seconds of her time or take you at all seriously. Even if you look like a troll, at least the girl will know you have the confidence not to hide behind a blank profile.

All of that being said . . . I hope that you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. I definitely did . . . and my snarly mood today is no reflection of the stimulating holiday I celebrated yesterday. I love being struck stupid by cupid!!!