The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXIII

Mmm . . . yeah . . . so there isn’t much that I can really share about this particular crackhead that messaged me on my dating profile. His stupidity is almost overwhelming and I knew right away that he just had to be featured in my Hall of Shame.

I am quite sure that he is at home right now abusing someone . . . or something. What a nightmare! But I did have a great time emailing him back to enumerate what a mentally dysfunctional piece of manhood he is! Happy reading!

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From: DominantFool
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 1:02 pm
Subject: Possible Match

You are one of my quick matches for the week. I thought your profile was interesting. I am not a man to be dictated too though, so we may not match after all. This is the way I work.

I won’t tell you that you are beautiful – because you aren’t. But I will treat you well.

I won’t let you walk on me – because I am the man and always wear the pants. But I will allow you to have an opinion. I just won’t listen to it.

I won’t be your lapdog – because I lead and you follow. But I will let you choose the destination – at times.

I won’t embrace your independence – because I think you have already had too much of a taste of it. But I will allow you to take care of me.

I think you can accept these things and would thrive in my care. Message me back. I’ll be waiting.

Bill

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From: Jenny
To: DominantFool
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 5:27 pm
Subject: Re: Possible Match

Wow . . . Bill . . . there really aren’t words to appropriately express my displeasure at having been one of your quick matches for the week. This web site is CLEARLY doing something very wrong if they thought that we could be even remotely compatible.

But, let me clear up a few things for you . . .

1) I don’t need someone that looks like Where’s Waldo telling me that I am not beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . . . but you clearly have a warped perception of beauty. I would like to think that you have reacted so violently to my appearance because it made you even more cognizant of the fact that you are a troll that should be guarding a bridge somewhere. But, sadly, I don’t think you are that self-aware. I suggest you step away from the computer and return to your bridge. No one wants you . . .

2) You will treat me well . . . mmm . . . I don’t think so. Anyone that starts out by insulting me cannot go anywhere but down. Somehow I think that you are one of those controlling and abusive men that I have had the misfortune to encounter more times than I am comfortable with. I recommend that you stick with abusing yourself . . . because one of these days, you will attack the wrong person and find yourself on the receiving end of a Bobbitization. I kind of wish I could be that person . . .

3) You will allow me to have an opinion – yet you don’t care about it. Really? Wow! That is just swell of you! But, let me assure you, no one cares about your needs less than a strong, self-assured woman like myself. You need to return to therapy and figure out what it is about yourself that is so horrible that you think you need to control someone else to feel like a man. You are just sad and pathetic.

4) Lapdog? I want no part of a lapdog and my profile does not insinuate such a thing in any way, shape, or form. I would never want to be with a weak and spineless man . . . but, I also can’t be with someone that thinks it is okay to control every aspect of my life. And, believe me, the day will NEVER come when I have to follow anyone. The only place I think you could lead anyone to is hell. And I can earn my own trip there.

5) A woman can never have too much independence. You have clearly had some sort of psychotic break . . . or have quite simply forgotten that this is 2010 . . . women rule this world. Men are just the ones that clean up after us. The sooner you recognize that and submit to the higher power that women are now, the happier you will be.

6) In case you have not yet figured this out for yourself, I am not interested in you – or anything about you – except maybe in trying to protect the rest of the women in the world from your foul behavior. I could never live with a loserville like you and your controlling actions. And I am glad you were waiting for my response. I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Somehow I think I got a lot more pleasure from it than you did.

Now I suggest you run along and re-evaluate every aspect of your life and personality. Otherwise you are destined to die alone . . . the same way that you have surely lived your entire life.

Don’t be mad now . . . I’m just trying to help a guy out! Now shoo you pest! And don’t bother to try and reply to my message . . . I have already blocked you. I know it isn’t possible to truly penetrate that thick skull of yours . . . and I refuse to spend any more of my valuable energy debating the reality of the world with you.

~ Jenny