It has been forever since I felt truly compelled to blast someone out of the water and document their stupidity in my Hall of Shame blog series. In an effort to be a better (and more positive) person, I have been attempting to control myself. That did not work so well for me yesterday . . . as I was provoked beyond bearing.
I keep a great deal of my personal life private. Know why that is? Because some people – who are of no true consequence in my life – feel entitled to be intimately involved in everything that I do. The Internet has allowed people to have an unparalleled sense of entitlement. Just because I can post every picture that I take in the world does not mean that I should. Just because I can update my Facebook status every five seconds, with every breath and every ass wipe, does not mean that I should. Just because I can ‘check in’ online so that every stalker in the world knows I have been to the Acme and then to the Wawa before checking in from home, does not mean that I should. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with people that do those things . . . it just is not the way I elect to run my life.
Who is the janker that pissed in my Cheerios yesterday? A male acquaintance . . . who I have met peripherally a few times in one of the social circles I operate in. And when I say acquaintance, that is what I mean . . . no true personal affiliation . . . he does not even have my cell phone number and must have gotten my email address from my Facebook page.
So, I get an email, completely out of nowhere from this person, and it rapidly went from bad to worse for him. Read on . . . and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed letting him have it!
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 5:20 PM
Subject: Question
Why does your Facebook say you are in a relationship? You aren’t.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:04 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Mmm . . . because I am in a relationship.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:17 PM
Subject: RE: Question
No. I see you all of the time. Never with anyone. Trying to prove something by saying that?
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:25 PM
Subject: RE: Question
I don’t have anything to prove. My relationship status is listed correctly. And I have nothing to prove to anyone – especially not you.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:33 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Yeah right. I think you just say that so you don’t look bad.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:45 PM
Subject: RE: Question
First of all, there isn’t anything wrong with being single. I don’t have to say that I am in a relationship to feel better about myself. The last time that I checked, I am pretty phenomenal – single or involved.
It does occur to me that you have taken a specific objection to my status. Not that I care, but what business is it of yours anyway?
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:10 PM
Subject: RE: Question
No objection. Just like to see people being honest. And I don’t think you are.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:22 PM
Subject: RE: Question
You don’t think I am being honest? Really . . . that is profound coming from someone like you. Your issue with me isn’t going to be used to mask your latent homosexuality . . . if you think that people do not know, you are grossly mistaken. We all have eyes. If you are looking for someone dishonest, look no further than your own living room. Your entire life is a lie . . .
That being said, don’t make the mistake of thinking that I care one whit. Pussy or dick, it’s all the same to me. But, don’t try to push off your personal insecurities and issues onto me. That isn’t going to work. Now get lost before I get nasty.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:36 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Get nasty? You say things like that and pretend you are still a nice person. You have everyone fooled. One day you will get what is coming to you.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:41 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Well, you should have let it be . . . but since you are clearly not that bright, I am going to share a few home truths with you. Maybe you will think about these things before you try and confront someone else with your retarded accusations again. And, I would like to thank you ahead of time for pissing me off and earning a place in my Hall of Shame blog. It’s been a while, but I think you are deserving. Congrats!
1. What happens in my personal life is just that – personal. It isn’t any business of yours – or anyone else’s. I don’t owe you an explanation related to my relationship. What are you? The relationship police?!? Please! Get a life of your own and you won’t be so concerned with what is going on in mine.
2. If you weren’t queerer than a two-headed nickel, I would think that you were interested in me and just spouting off sour grapes because you can’t have me. I won’t ever understand why you have elected to single me out to be the recipient of your mad ranting, but I also won’t pretend to care. You are nothing to me – and you are now even less than that. I have enemies I look upon with more fondness.
3. My boyfriend thinks you are pathetic. We laughed about your email together . . . and he reminded me that I really don’t have anything to prove. But, I will say that if you paid any attention at all to my page, you would know who my boyfriend is . . . what he does for a career . . . where he lives . . . and even when I am with him. You are just too single-minded (and lacking in cognitive powers) to notice these things.
4. I have people fooled? Really? I don’t think that is the case. I know who – and what – I am. It is a shame that you live such a closeted (literally!) life that you cannot even recognize someone that is truly well-grounded, honest (to the point of it being a fault), and true. Yes – true! Because that is what I am to the people that mean the most to me. Trash like you? Well, there is always another Hefty bag to shove you into.
5. I am a nice person – I am exceedingly nice to the people in my life that deserve it. You may not like me . . . you may not like my personal politics . . . and you may not like what I have to say. But I do not recall asking you for your opinion. I don’t recall soliciting you as a Facebook ‘friend’ and I really don’t recall initiating this conversation with you. If you want to see someone ugly, grab a mirror. You are foul . . . not only on the outside, but on the inside. I don’t see even one redeemable quality about you.
6. Let’s just clear up one other item . . . we have friends in common. You will do well to keep a wide berth from me going forward. Your disgustingness has been removed from my Facebook page and blocked. And, let me warn you, don’t make the mistake of trying to badmouth me to our mutual friends. I had them long before you did . . . and will have them long after you have hit the beaten path. I don’t lose . . . especially not to a punk like you.
7. Lastly, I will get what is coming to me in life . . . and that is solely because I am a wonderful person. I will have happiness . . . I will have security . . . and I will have love. Somehow I see you growing old alone . . . dying alone . . . and being buried by the state (hopefully sooner versus later). I have none of those concerns about my very bright and shining future.
All of that being said, I will not bother to wish you well. You are not deserving of it.
Jenny
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXVI
I do not normally put people in the Hall of Shame after physical dates . . . I truly do not want everyone out there to think that I am a hideous witch about every man I go out with. However, my loserville date from Thursday deserves his moment in the spotlight. At first I thought that I may have overreacted a bit to his abrasive and assuming behavior, but have since decided otherwise (largely due to his continued ignorance). So here is the scenario:
I had been talking with this guy, Dre (yes that really was his name . . . he showed me his driver’s license) for several weeks and finally decided to make the big leap and meet him in person. Because I am so cynical these days, I did elect to go for the coffee date (as most of you know it is best to do that so that you can get out of a bad situation fast and without any sort of commitment). Well, he chose to have us meet at a Starbuck’s in the King of Prussia Mall. Not a big deal, but the locations in the mall are not really conducive to being able to hang out for a while and get to know someone – but whatever! I said he could pick where to meet, so I had to stick with it.
Strike one - Dre was twenty minutes late. And I have a major issue with people that cannot manage time properly. Luckily I was at the mall, so I didn’t mind that much . . . but it was still strike one in my book. You don’t show up late to a first date . . . it just makes a bad impression.
Strike two came shortly thereafter. We went up to the counter and I ordered my coffee first. He then ordered a snack and a coffee. Then – in an unparalleled event in my life – he says to me “Why don’t you get this?”. Ummm how about hell to the no!?!? I’m the girl! And you can’t spring two dollars for a cup of coffee? Cheap ass loser . . . and I sure as freak am not going to pony up five dollars for your sugary drink and snack. I did, though, decide to handle it with grace and simply said that we should cover our own. With a smirk, I handed him two dollars to cover my drink, snagged my coffee, and went to sit down – leaving him (none too happily) to wrap things up with the Barista.
Dre did pay his way and then came over to the table. He then proceeded to guzzle down his drink, eat his banana bread, and talk with his mouth full the entire time. To say I was revolted would be greatly minimizing it. The second time that a piece of food fell out of his mouth onto the table, I almost wretched on the spot. Regardless of all of these offenses I persisted . . . and then strike three.
After about twenty minutes of him droning on about his work (BORING), he inquired about what I wanted to do next. I told him that we agreed to a coffee date, so unless he wanted to walk around the mall, then I did not have any other intentions. Dre says “I am too tired to walk around the mall. Let’s go back to your place.” I’m all “That isn’t going to happen. Do you want to walk around the mall or call it a night?” Dre says “Come on. Let’s just go back to your place.” Apparently he is stuck on stupid.
I respond again “So not going to happen. I guess we will call it a night.” Dre says “Don’t be a prude. Let’s just go back to your place.” WTF?!? Really with this?!? I respond, “You are too tired to walk around the mall, but you have the energy to go back to my place and do what? Take a nap? I don’t think so. I am finished here.” I stood up and prepared to leave and Dre did the same. Apparently there was a misunderstanding though – he thought he was coming with me because he said “So, back to your place?”
OMFG!
My loud reply “I am going back to my place. You are going to your place. And I have no intention of ever seeing you again. Apparently you think I am a whore, but I can assure you that I am not. Good riddance!”
He did have the grace to look shocked . . . but most likely only because I said it really loudly for everyone in the Starbuck’s to hear. And they did hear . . . several people laughed and one man stood up and looked like he was going to intervene if necessary. I was good though . . . and just exited the coffeehouse with pride in tact.
You would think that Dre would have gotten the point . . . but he didn’t really. He text messaged me almost immediately requesting a second chance. Really? Cracka please! Do I look mentally challenged? If you are going to act like that after meeting me for the first time – and for thirty minutes – your behavior has nowhere to but down from there (as if it were even possible!). I sent a reply instructing him to get lost and never contact me again . . . which, of course, did not go over well. I was barraged with text messages telling me that I am a prude . . . that I overreacted to his ‘joke’ . . . that I am clearly afraid of being in a serious relationship . . . and so on. After I threatened to post his personal contact information online on a popular revenge website, he relented and has since left me alone. But, boy can I pick them or what?!? I swear . . . they seem so nice and innocuous when you are talking to them on IM and the on the phone. But, true tools cannot hide their ignorance for long . . . this one showed his true colors immediately. At least I didn’t waste anything more than a coffee date on him . . . and any excuse for me to get Starbuck’s is a good one. ;)
That’s it for now for the Hall of Shame . . . and for now the other women in southeastern Pennsylvania should be safe from this wacko. He deleted his online profile after our date too. What a total jerk!
So, a few helpful hints to all of my single guy pals:
1) Be on time . . . tardiness is not easily tolerated. No one likes to wait . . . especially for a stranger.
2) Pay for the woman. I know women are supposed to be liberated and all that rot . . . but be a man and cover the first date. If you do not, it makes you look weak, cheap, and really like a complete loser.
3) I don't care what the situation is - it is never socially acceptable to talk with your mouth full. It is nasty and really just shows the woman you are with that you have absolutely no manners and displays gross disrespect to the person you are with. Knock that shit off immediately!
4) Take cues from the body language of the person you are with. If you are unfamiliar with the common signs that someone is not into you, take a few minutes and Google it. It will save you some trouble and embarrassment going forward.
5) Last, but certainly not least, don't ever treat your date like a slut. If a woman wants you to go home with her, she will invite you. Don't be a reject and ask. If you have to ask, you already know what the answer is going to be and nothing good can follow that slap in the face.
I had been talking with this guy, Dre (yes that really was his name . . . he showed me his driver’s license) for several weeks and finally decided to make the big leap and meet him in person. Because I am so cynical these days, I did elect to go for the coffee date (as most of you know it is best to do that so that you can get out of a bad situation fast and without any sort of commitment). Well, he chose to have us meet at a Starbuck’s in the King of Prussia Mall. Not a big deal, but the locations in the mall are not really conducive to being able to hang out for a while and get to know someone – but whatever! I said he could pick where to meet, so I had to stick with it.
Strike one - Dre was twenty minutes late. And I have a major issue with people that cannot manage time properly. Luckily I was at the mall, so I didn’t mind that much . . . but it was still strike one in my book. You don’t show up late to a first date . . . it just makes a bad impression.
Strike two came shortly thereafter. We went up to the counter and I ordered my coffee first. He then ordered a snack and a coffee. Then – in an unparalleled event in my life – he says to me “Why don’t you get this?”. Ummm how about hell to the no!?!? I’m the girl! And you can’t spring two dollars for a cup of coffee? Cheap ass loser . . . and I sure as freak am not going to pony up five dollars for your sugary drink and snack. I did, though, decide to handle it with grace and simply said that we should cover our own. With a smirk, I handed him two dollars to cover my drink, snagged my coffee, and went to sit down – leaving him (none too happily) to wrap things up with the Barista.
Dre did pay his way and then came over to the table. He then proceeded to guzzle down his drink, eat his banana bread, and talk with his mouth full the entire time. To say I was revolted would be greatly minimizing it. The second time that a piece of food fell out of his mouth onto the table, I almost wretched on the spot. Regardless of all of these offenses I persisted . . . and then strike three.
After about twenty minutes of him droning on about his work (BORING), he inquired about what I wanted to do next. I told him that we agreed to a coffee date, so unless he wanted to walk around the mall, then I did not have any other intentions. Dre says “I am too tired to walk around the mall. Let’s go back to your place.” I’m all “That isn’t going to happen. Do you want to walk around the mall or call it a night?” Dre says “Come on. Let’s just go back to your place.” Apparently he is stuck on stupid.
I respond again “So not going to happen. I guess we will call it a night.” Dre says “Don’t be a prude. Let’s just go back to your place.” WTF?!? Really with this?!? I respond, “You are too tired to walk around the mall, but you have the energy to go back to my place and do what? Take a nap? I don’t think so. I am finished here.” I stood up and prepared to leave and Dre did the same. Apparently there was a misunderstanding though – he thought he was coming with me because he said “So, back to your place?”
OMFG!
My loud reply “I am going back to my place. You are going to your place. And I have no intention of ever seeing you again. Apparently you think I am a whore, but I can assure you that I am not. Good riddance!”
He did have the grace to look shocked . . . but most likely only because I said it really loudly for everyone in the Starbuck’s to hear. And they did hear . . . several people laughed and one man stood up and looked like he was going to intervene if necessary. I was good though . . . and just exited the coffeehouse with pride in tact.
You would think that Dre would have gotten the point . . . but he didn’t really. He text messaged me almost immediately requesting a second chance. Really? Cracka please! Do I look mentally challenged? If you are going to act like that after meeting me for the first time – and for thirty minutes – your behavior has nowhere to but down from there (as if it were even possible!). I sent a reply instructing him to get lost and never contact me again . . . which, of course, did not go over well. I was barraged with text messages telling me that I am a prude . . . that I overreacted to his ‘joke’ . . . that I am clearly afraid of being in a serious relationship . . . and so on. After I threatened to post his personal contact information online on a popular revenge website, he relented and has since left me alone. But, boy can I pick them or what?!? I swear . . . they seem so nice and innocuous when you are talking to them on IM and the on the phone. But, true tools cannot hide their ignorance for long . . . this one showed his true colors immediately. At least I didn’t waste anything more than a coffee date on him . . . and any excuse for me to get Starbuck’s is a good one. ;)
That’s it for now for the Hall of Shame . . . and for now the other women in southeastern Pennsylvania should be safe from this wacko. He deleted his online profile after our date too. What a total jerk!
So, a few helpful hints to all of my single guy pals:
1) Be on time . . . tardiness is not easily tolerated. No one likes to wait . . . especially for a stranger.
2) Pay for the woman. I know women are supposed to be liberated and all that rot . . . but be a man and cover the first date. If you do not, it makes you look weak, cheap, and really like a complete loser.
3) I don't care what the situation is - it is never socially acceptable to talk with your mouth full. It is nasty and really just shows the woman you are with that you have absolutely no manners and displays gross disrespect to the person you are with. Knock that shit off immediately!
4) Take cues from the body language of the person you are with. If you are unfamiliar with the common signs that someone is not into you, take a few minutes and Google it. It will save you some trouble and embarrassment going forward.
5) Last, but certainly not least, don't ever treat your date like a slut. If a woman wants you to go home with her, she will invite you. Don't be a reject and ask. If you have to ask, you already know what the answer is going to be and nothing good can follow that slap in the face.
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