Hello boys and girls! I hope that this update finds you all doing well and managing to make it through spring with joy and minimal allergy attacks!
So, this Hall of Shame entry is coming to you compliments of the gossip mill . . . which runs like mad in small town like mine. Unfortunately, people tend to believe the stupid shit that they hear. And, even more unfortunate, they will ask me about the stupid shit that they hear!
Check out the email chain below for an exchange I had yesterday with an alleged friend . . . somehow I think a friend no more! Feel free to let me know if you think I was overly sensitive. I can take the criticism . . . maybe!
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
You came up in a convo last night. What is the situation with your r-ship? I thought you were in one and I heard last night you are running around with someone else on the side. I was really surprised to hear that. Let me know!
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
Mmm . . . I am not quite sure how to respond to this message really because it bothers me on several levels. What exactly was it that was being said? And I certainly hope that you would not believe I would act in such a way. Although, by virtue of the fact that you felt compelled to email and ask, it would indicate that you did believe it.
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
Don’t be so sensitive! You know we love to talk! We were discussing some things and it came up that you were dating several people. I am the one that said you were in a relationship. But that led to mention of you spending all of your time with someone that isn’t your boyfriend. So, you tell me what that means. It is your behavior, not mine, that is making people talk.
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
It’s fascinating how me having a male friend has apparently turned me into a giant whore. And I just love how you are so willing to believe it. And I am not being sensitive! How I spend my time, whether or not I am in a relationship, really isn’t anyone else’s business. It’s really sad that you and your cohorts have such little else going on in your lives that you are resorting to making up lies about mine.
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
I should have known you would freak over this. But, you have to know that if you act a certain way, people are going to talk. It doesn’t mean that people think you are a whore. The last time we saw each other, you were in a solid relationship. Now you are spending 24x7 with someone else? What is with that? And everyone thinks you are in a relationship – but definitely not with this person you are always with. It is only reasonable to think that you have something not quite kosher going on. And I don’t think it is right for you to behave that way if the men in your life do not know what is going on. Someone could get hurt and that isn’t right.
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
You are so ridiculous that I cannot even begin to string together enough words to capture it. Are you really intimating that I am the type of person to be involved with multiple people? You really do not know me at all do you?!? Well, let me enlighten you on a few things.
First, there is this lovely concept of friendship. Boys and girls can be JUST friends. If I am gallivanting around with a man, that I am not in a relationship with, he is my friend. And, you know what? I am not fucking him. Why is that? Because I have a moral compass that would not allow for that type of behavior. Unlike you! The last time I checked, weren’t you in an open marriage? That very thought makes me throw up in my mouth. But, I have – time and time again – defended your right to do whatever you want with your marriage. Too bad you do not display the same loyalty. Trust me, I won’t waste my energy defending you in the future . . . I may even join in the fun.
Second, what is your interest in the situation? What exactly is there for you to get all worked up about? Why would you care if I ‘hurt’ someone? Do you have an interest in the person I am in a relationship with? Or are you interested in my friend? Don’t think I’m a total idiot here . . . I know how you roll. And if you are concerned about anything, it is what you can get out of it. And trust me, neither of them would ever want anything to do with you.
Third, perhaps you should try to work on this lovely thing that we call ‘minding your own business’. And I would encourage you to have your partners in crime do the same thing. I also call it ‘getting a life’. My life is my own . . . and if you have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss it, then I feel really very sorry for you. I mean, I know that I am fascinating and all . . . but if you are all going to sit around and gossip about me, I would at least encourage you to make sure it is true – or keep it to yourself. I am not a fan of gossip . . . it has caused me an immeasurable amount of pain in my life and I will not get sucked into that nightmare ever again. True friends have better things to do than talk badly about the people they love. I know I do. But, then again, I am a true friend. You must not be.
Last, but certainly not least, I don’t think (not for one second) that I am being overly sensitive about this situation. I think it is a really sad state of affairs that you think it is acceptable to sit around and talk shit about your friends. It is even more pathetic that you believed the lies that someone else was spouting off about me . . . so much that you had to check with me about them. It’s disgusting behavior to me. I do not behave like that and I am saddened to know that you do.
That’s all . . .
Jenny
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
I am sorry you feel that way. I guess I thought that checking with you was the best way to handle it. I know otherwise now. That doesn’t mean I am not your friend.
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
It’s simple. Did you believe what the other people were saying about me?
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
Eveyrthing isn’t black and white that way. I did believe it, but I checked. That has to count for something.
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
No, it really doesn’t have to count for anything. Because, to me, you should know better than to believe that I would behave like a streetwalker. And, not for anything, if I were behaving like that, I would at least have the common sense to hide it. I am not a dumbass. If I were squirreling around in a relationship, I would not be parading around my small town with another guy. It’s absurd.
I don’t have anything else to say about this . . . I’m disappointed.
***
From: Nosy Noserson
To: Jenny
Subject: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
So dramatic all of the time! Can’t you just let it go?
***
From: Jenny
To: Nosy Noserson
Subject: RE: Checking In
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010
Mmm . . . I am going to go with a ‘NO’ . . . and thank you for now providing me with fodder for my next Hall of Shame entry. I was going to take the high road with this. I no longer feel that I need to do that.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXVIII
Hello one and all! So, spring is here with a vengeance . . . and I am loving it! Can you even stand how nice it is out?!? I know that I am enjoying this light jacket weather (okay, I know most people are sporting shorts already but I am cold all of the time!).
Well, I have a REAL winner for you with this Hall of Shame entry . . . I do so hope that you enjoy it. It comes to you from the dating web site that I have a profile on . . . which, as you probably know, lists me as being ‘in a relationship’ and ‘not available’. Regardless, this crackadoodle didn’t get that memo and really wanted to show his ass – even starting out really badly by insulting me. Read on for a humorous exchange . . . I know that I truly enjoyed it! And, just so you are aware, his screen name wasn’t “EbonyLoser” . . . it was a variation of “EbonyLover” . . . I changed it to protect his dumb behind! Although he really is horrific and deserves to be outed to the public! ;)
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/02/2010
Subject: Sup?
I checked your page. You arent that pretty and admit to being fat. So tell me why I should be interested in you.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Are you kidding me with that email? I am not interested in telling you anything . . . get lost.
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Not a joke. Im a hot commodity. Why should I date someone like you over the other women on this site? I would like to know.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
You shouldn’t date me . . . I would never consider you. You are clearly a loser. Now, I said it before, get lost. In addition to not being very pretty and being fat, I’m really not very nice.
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Not a good response. How do you expect to catch me like that? You big girls like a black man, dont you? I know we like you.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/04/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
I can’t take it . . . really, I tried . . . and I just do not have it in me to let it go any longer. Do you have any idea how unfathomably rude and disgusting you are? Has that pick-up e-mail EVER worked for you? Because if it has, I feel really badly for the pathetic creature that lacked the self-esteem needed in order to shoot your sorry ass to the curb the way that you deserve. Let me just break a few things down for you (if you are capable of reading as much as I am about to write) . . . and then I will block you from contacting me again.
1) You are a hot commodity? In what universe are you hot? I can only imagine that it is your sorry mama telling you that . . . because your pock-filled face is one that ONLY a mother could love. And let me just mention to you that if the only pictures you have of yourself include you sporting stained clothing, you may just want to refrain from posting any at all. No woman wants to date Pigpen. NOT sexy.
2) Why should you want to date someone like me? Well . . . I would have to say because it would be the first sign of common sense that you would ever display. But, the reality is that someone like me – with decency, taste, and class – would never look twice at someone like you and someone like me would NEVER respond positively to such a disrespectful introductory message. You may want to consider some personality training. Whatever ghetto you grew up in must have rubbed off on you . . . but it isn’t something that most women find attractive. I know I don’t!
3) How do I expect to catch you? I think we have established that I am not interested in doing so. In fact, had you actually taken the time to READ my profile, you would see that I am in a relationship and am not pursuing new romantic interests at this time. So, this whole exchange could have been avoided . . . had you just possessed a little attention to detail. And the only way I want to catch you is if I were chasing you down with my car. However, rest assured that in that instance, I would indeed catch you.
4) Big girls like a black man because you like us? Hmm . . . really? What is it that you think is so appealing about you? Being disrespected and treated like absolute garbage? Because I can clearly see the level of respect that you would treat any woman in your life. Your first sentence to me was filled with trash . . . and there is nowhere to go from there but down. In this instance, I think that you saw that I am a big girl and considered me easy target for your abuse. However, you clearly misjudged the situation. I am not one of those weak and pathetic ‘big girls’ that is desperate for any male attention . . . that is willing to cling to your every word and would love to kiss your revolting feet. If that is what you are looking for (and believe me, I know your type), you may want to consider a dog . . . but, somehow I am sure you would abuse an animal just as horribly as you would the woman in your life. An animal I can feel sorry for . . . but any woman that would elect to be with you would just be full-on stupid. And, trust me, I am not that woman.
Now that I have cleared up a few of your outstanding questions, I am going to sign off. I hope that you managed to make it through this lengthy email. I know that I am exceedingly verbose, but I think it would be a valuable use of your time to reflect on the items I mentioned above and see how you can improve yourself. Truly, you could only improve, since you are a giant pile of shit now.
Suck it,
Jenny
Well, I have a REAL winner for you with this Hall of Shame entry . . . I do so hope that you enjoy it. It comes to you from the dating web site that I have a profile on . . . which, as you probably know, lists me as being ‘in a relationship’ and ‘not available’. Regardless, this crackadoodle didn’t get that memo and really wanted to show his ass – even starting out really badly by insulting me. Read on for a humorous exchange . . . I know that I truly enjoyed it! And, just so you are aware, his screen name wasn’t “EbonyLoser” . . . it was a variation of “EbonyLover” . . . I changed it to protect his dumb behind! Although he really is horrific and deserves to be outed to the public! ;)
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/02/2010
Subject: Sup?
I checked your page. You arent that pretty and admit to being fat. So tell me why I should be interested in you.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Are you kidding me with that email? I am not interested in telling you anything . . . get lost.
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Not a joke. Im a hot commodity. Why should I date someone like you over the other women on this site? I would like to know.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
You shouldn’t date me . . . I would never consider you. You are clearly a loser. Now, I said it before, get lost. In addition to not being very pretty and being fat, I’m really not very nice.
***
To: Jenny
From: EbonyLoser
Date: 04/03/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
Not a good response. How do you expect to catch me like that? You big girls like a black man, dont you? I know we like you.
***
To: EbonyLoser
From: Jenny
Date: 04/04/2010
Subject: Re: Sup?
I can’t take it . . . really, I tried . . . and I just do not have it in me to let it go any longer. Do you have any idea how unfathomably rude and disgusting you are? Has that pick-up e-mail EVER worked for you? Because if it has, I feel really badly for the pathetic creature that lacked the self-esteem needed in order to shoot your sorry ass to the curb the way that you deserve. Let me just break a few things down for you (if you are capable of reading as much as I am about to write) . . . and then I will block you from contacting me again.
1) You are a hot commodity? In what universe are you hot? I can only imagine that it is your sorry mama telling you that . . . because your pock-filled face is one that ONLY a mother could love. And let me just mention to you that if the only pictures you have of yourself include you sporting stained clothing, you may just want to refrain from posting any at all. No woman wants to date Pigpen. NOT sexy.
2) Why should you want to date someone like me? Well . . . I would have to say because it would be the first sign of common sense that you would ever display. But, the reality is that someone like me – with decency, taste, and class – would never look twice at someone like you and someone like me would NEVER respond positively to such a disrespectful introductory message. You may want to consider some personality training. Whatever ghetto you grew up in must have rubbed off on you . . . but it isn’t something that most women find attractive. I know I don’t!
3) How do I expect to catch you? I think we have established that I am not interested in doing so. In fact, had you actually taken the time to READ my profile, you would see that I am in a relationship and am not pursuing new romantic interests at this time. So, this whole exchange could have been avoided . . . had you just possessed a little attention to detail. And the only way I want to catch you is if I were chasing you down with my car. However, rest assured that in that instance, I would indeed catch you.
4) Big girls like a black man because you like us? Hmm . . . really? What is it that you think is so appealing about you? Being disrespected and treated like absolute garbage? Because I can clearly see the level of respect that you would treat any woman in your life. Your first sentence to me was filled with trash . . . and there is nowhere to go from there but down. In this instance, I think that you saw that I am a big girl and considered me easy target for your abuse. However, you clearly misjudged the situation. I am not one of those weak and pathetic ‘big girls’ that is desperate for any male attention . . . that is willing to cling to your every word and would love to kiss your revolting feet. If that is what you are looking for (and believe me, I know your type), you may want to consider a dog . . . but, somehow I am sure you would abuse an animal just as horribly as you would the woman in your life. An animal I can feel sorry for . . . but any woman that would elect to be with you would just be full-on stupid. And, trust me, I am not that woman.
Now that I have cleared up a few of your outstanding questions, I am going to sign off. I hope that you managed to make it through this lengthy email. I know that I am exceedingly verbose, but I think it would be a valuable use of your time to reflect on the items I mentioned above and see how you can improve yourself. Truly, you could only improve, since you are a giant pile of shit now.
Suck it,
Jenny
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