The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVIII

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVIII

I know . . . I know . . . it has been quite a while since I have regaled you with one of my Hall of Shame blogs and you have my very sincere apologies for neglecting you. Please know that I have been wanting to write them, I have been caught up in other pursuits and just have not had the energy to dedicate to it.

The good news is that I have a really good blog for you this time (at least I think it is awesome – in my not-so-humble opinion!). So, check out the email from the creep of the month and read below for my email back to this cretin! Note: I am only pasting in the first of six (yes, six!!!) emails that he sent to me on MySpace in the course of three days. I then responded to him and blocked him. Complete and total insanity . . . there are no other words.

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From: Damian Ar**ph
Date: November 10, 2008

Thank u, thank u, and thank u for being u Jenny.

I didnt write this on your page, cause I wanted it as private message for you...U know I want so much for you to accept me as a friend and I cant send you a request. Its kind of dreaaaaaaaaam that I found your page. When I went home yesterday after first finding your page, I wished you would want me too. Now I want more than anything for it to be true.

Can you please send me a friend request so that you can be part of my life? That would mean the world to me! Pleeeeaaaassseee! Love me, hate me, scream at me, beat me, just let me in your life.

It has only been a few days that the reason that I come to the net is a person who really makes me happy, and you know who she is!!! (winking). When I connect to the net, I come to your page and click on that picture of you and wish I could see more. But mmmm, precious and attractive. I wish I knew more English to describe that feeling it gives me.

Please write to me whenever you can. You are the one who makes me feeling like myself these days and I want you to be my friend more than I want to breathe.

Kisses, Kisses, Kisses,
Damian

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From: Jenny
Date: November 13, 2008

What is wrong with you? Seriously? Do you have a screw loose in that tiny little brain of yours?!?

Let me just take a few minutes to provide you with some areas of improvement for your life before I block you from emailing and torturing me further with your nonsense.

1) I do not know how it works in your country, but in the United States, you scare women off by sending rapid fire emails the way that you did. If you really want to express interest in someone, send one email and if the woman is interested she will write back. If she doesn’t, then let it go. Do not turn into a psycho emailer and fill her Inbox with your whackadoo ramblings about how you want to spend your life with her. Believe me, if I had a pet rabbit, I would be watching it like a hawk right now for fear that you would be turning it into stew!

2) Your life in your country must be pretty sad and lonely if I became your reason for returning to the Internet after just looking at one picture. I would strongly encourage you to seek psychiatric help before pursuing additional romantic interests online. Alternately, I think a hobby might be a wonderful concept for you. And, no, looking at Internet porn is not a hobby.

3) I would encourage you to go back and read the first email that you sent to me because it was wrong on so many different levels. The degree of ridiculousness of some of your statements will probably go unparalleled in my lifetime. Love you? Dream on! Hate you? You are simply not worth the energy! Scream at you? I would actually have to speak to you and that definitely is not going to happen. Beat you? Eeeeww . . . now there is a thought that just makes my skin crawl. What kind of freak show even makes a suggestion like that?!?

Now that I have provided you with some areas for personal growth, I am going to close my email and block you. There is no need for me to tell you not to contact me again, as I am removing the ability for you to do so.

Jenny

The Hall of Shame ~ Part XVII

OMG! I cannot believe that it has been so long since I have posted a Hall of Shame blog! I have not deliberately neglected you all . . . nor have I not written a blog because I have not had anyone to roast . . . I have just not really been spending that much time on MySpace recently. However, my slacking has come to an end . . . because this loser was just too good to keep to myself!

Check out the email below that I received from a 47 year old, married man on myYearbook. He was not on my friend list or anything, but this was his introductory email to me. Below that is the ACTUAL email that I wrote back to him. I did not edit it for this blog in any way. I hope you enjoy reading it!

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Sent by: HarleyJ**4u

Hi Gorgeous! How are you today?
i saw your profile and wanted to say Hello!
love to be a friend! love your pics and profile!
Check out my pics and let me know what you think!
Hope to chat sometime!
Love and Hot Wet Orgasms to You Dear!!!
Jim
HarleyJ**4U on Yahoo
HarleyJ**4U at comcast dot net

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Sent by: Jenny H

Jim,

You have GOT to be kidding me! Was that really your attempt to introduce yourself?!? Don’t get me wrong . . . you started out decently by doling out compliments and feigning interest in my general well-being. But come on man . . . your execution is horribly flawed!

You say you want to be friends . . . that is believable . . . especially considering the age difference and the fact that you are married. Heaven knows that any woman of class and basic morality would never consider anything else.

So . . . you must be dying to know where you went wrong in your email to me. Well, first I have to confess that my curiosity got the best of me because you did not have a default picture posted. So, I wasted a few moments of my very valuable time to navigate to your page to check out your pictures. What a mistake that was!!!! I will probably never recover from the trauma of seeing you in your Hanes briefs! And while, apparently, some women on this web site seem to think that your ‘package’ is impressive, I am not one of them. Your two inches of screaming thunder did not inspire me to want to meet up with you . . . the only thing that it inspired in me was my upchuck reflex.

Next, I do not chat . . . so thank you for providing me with your contact information. Rest assured that I will not be using it.

Finally, in closing, I would like to thank you for reminding me just how revolting some men can be. “Love and Hot Wet Orgasms to You Dear!!!” Seriously? I just do not even have words for the level of ridiculousness that a statement like that has. What I do know is that you will NEVER be inducing either of those things in any way, shape, or form in my universe.

Now . . . I encourage you to get off of the Internet and go and pay attention to your wife. That is the person that you should be wooing. You are lucky to have one person interested in your lame-ass . . .

Jenny

P.S. You totally made my day with your email. I write a blog about losers that email me . . . and you just made the cut! >:-)


Jenny’s Note:
Geriatric Jim did not write back to my email . . . I was rather looking forward to his response. I was disappointed . . . but I guess there really wasn’t much for him to say. He he he he . . .