It has been forever since I felt truly compelled to blast someone out of the water and document their stupidity in my Hall of Shame blog series. In an effort to be a better (and more positive) person, I have been attempting to control myself. That did not work so well for me yesterday . . . as I was provoked beyond bearing.
I keep a great deal of my personal life private. Know why that is? Because some people – who are of no true consequence in my life – feel entitled to be intimately involved in everything that I do. The Internet has allowed people to have an unparalleled sense of entitlement. Just because I can post every picture that I take in the world does not mean that I should. Just because I can update my Facebook status every five seconds, with every breath and every ass wipe, does not mean that I should. Just because I can ‘check in’ online so that every stalker in the world knows I have been to the Acme and then to the Wawa before checking in from home, does not mean that I should. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with people that do those things . . . it just is not the way I elect to run my life.
Who is the janker that pissed in my Cheerios yesterday? A male acquaintance . . . who I have met peripherally a few times in one of the social circles I operate in. And when I say acquaintance, that is what I mean . . . no true personal affiliation . . . he does not even have my cell phone number and must have gotten my email address from my Facebook page.
So, I get an email, completely out of nowhere from this person, and it rapidly went from bad to worse for him. Read on . . . and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed letting him have it!
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 5:20 PM
Subject: Question
Why does your Facebook say you are in a relationship? You aren’t.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:04 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Mmm . . . because I am in a relationship.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:17 PM
Subject: RE: Question
No. I see you all of the time. Never with anyone. Trying to prove something by saying that?
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:25 PM
Subject: RE: Question
I don’t have anything to prove. My relationship status is listed correctly. And I have nothing to prove to anyone – especially not you.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:33 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Yeah right. I think you just say that so you don’t look bad.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:45 PM
Subject: RE: Question
First of all, there isn’t anything wrong with being single. I don’t have to say that I am in a relationship to feel better about myself. The last time that I checked, I am pretty phenomenal – single or involved.
It does occur to me that you have taken a specific objection to my status. Not that I care, but what business is it of yours anyway?
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:10 PM
Subject: RE: Question
No objection. Just like to see people being honest. And I don’t think you are.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:22 PM
Subject: RE: Question
You don’t think I am being honest? Really . . . that is profound coming from someone like you. Your issue with me isn’t going to be used to mask your latent homosexuality . . . if you think that people do not know, you are grossly mistaken. We all have eyes. If you are looking for someone dishonest, look no further than your own living room. Your entire life is a lie . . .
That being said, don’t make the mistake of thinking that I care one whit. Pussy or dick, it’s all the same to me. But, don’t try to push off your personal insecurities and issues onto me. That isn’t going to work. Now get lost before I get nasty.
****
From: JankerDuJuor
To: Jenny
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:36 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Get nasty? You say things like that and pretend you are still a nice person. You have everyone fooled. One day you will get what is coming to you.
****
From: Jenny
To: JankerDuJuor
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:41 PM
Subject: RE: Question
Well, you should have let it be . . . but since you are clearly not that bright, I am going to share a few home truths with you. Maybe you will think about these things before you try and confront someone else with your retarded accusations again. And, I would like to thank you ahead of time for pissing me off and earning a place in my Hall of Shame blog. It’s been a while, but I think you are deserving. Congrats!
1. What happens in my personal life is just that – personal. It isn’t any business of yours – or anyone else’s. I don’t owe you an explanation related to my relationship. What are you? The relationship police?!? Please! Get a life of your own and you won’t be so concerned with what is going on in mine.
2. If you weren’t queerer than a two-headed nickel, I would think that you were interested in me and just spouting off sour grapes because you can’t have me. I won’t ever understand why you have elected to single me out to be the recipient of your mad ranting, but I also won’t pretend to care. You are nothing to me – and you are now even less than that. I have enemies I look upon with more fondness.
3. My boyfriend thinks you are pathetic. We laughed about your email together . . . and he reminded me that I really don’t have anything to prove. But, I will say that if you paid any attention at all to my page, you would know who my boyfriend is . . . what he does for a career . . . where he lives . . . and even when I am with him. You are just too single-minded (and lacking in cognitive powers) to notice these things.
4. I have people fooled? Really? I don’t think that is the case. I know who – and what – I am. It is a shame that you live such a closeted (literally!) life that you cannot even recognize someone that is truly well-grounded, honest (to the point of it being a fault), and true. Yes – true! Because that is what I am to the people that mean the most to me. Trash like you? Well, there is always another Hefty bag to shove you into.
5. I am a nice person – I am exceedingly nice to the people in my life that deserve it. You may not like me . . . you may not like my personal politics . . . and you may not like what I have to say. But I do not recall asking you for your opinion. I don’t recall soliciting you as a Facebook ‘friend’ and I really don’t recall initiating this conversation with you. If you want to see someone ugly, grab a mirror. You are foul . . . not only on the outside, but on the inside. I don’t see even one redeemable quality about you.
6. Let’s just clear up one other item . . . we have friends in common. You will do well to keep a wide berth from me going forward. Your disgustingness has been removed from my Facebook page and blocked. And, let me warn you, don’t make the mistake of trying to badmouth me to our mutual friends. I had them long before you did . . . and will have them long after you have hit the beaten path. I don’t lose . . . especially not to a punk like you.
7. Lastly, I will get what is coming to me in life . . . and that is solely because I am a wonderful person. I will have happiness . . . I will have security . . . and I will have love. Somehow I see you growing old alone . . . dying alone . . . and being buried by the state (hopefully sooner versus later). I have none of those concerns about my very bright and shining future.
All of that being said, I will not bother to wish you well. You are not deserving of it.
Jenny
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXVI
I do not normally put people in the Hall of Shame after physical dates . . . I truly do not want everyone out there to think that I am a hideous witch about every man I go out with. However, my loserville date from Thursday deserves his moment in the spotlight. At first I thought that I may have overreacted a bit to his abrasive and assuming behavior, but have since decided otherwise (largely due to his continued ignorance). So here is the scenario:
I had been talking with this guy, Dre (yes that really was his name . . . he showed me his driver’s license) for several weeks and finally decided to make the big leap and meet him in person. Because I am so cynical these days, I did elect to go for the coffee date (as most of you know it is best to do that so that you can get out of a bad situation fast and without any sort of commitment). Well, he chose to have us meet at a Starbuck’s in the King of Prussia Mall. Not a big deal, but the locations in the mall are not really conducive to being able to hang out for a while and get to know someone – but whatever! I said he could pick where to meet, so I had to stick with it.
Strike one - Dre was twenty minutes late. And I have a major issue with people that cannot manage time properly. Luckily I was at the mall, so I didn’t mind that much . . . but it was still strike one in my book. You don’t show up late to a first date . . . it just makes a bad impression.
Strike two came shortly thereafter. We went up to the counter and I ordered my coffee first. He then ordered a snack and a coffee. Then – in an unparalleled event in my life – he says to me “Why don’t you get this?”. Ummm how about hell to the no!?!? I’m the girl! And you can’t spring two dollars for a cup of coffee? Cheap ass loser . . . and I sure as freak am not going to pony up five dollars for your sugary drink and snack. I did, though, decide to handle it with grace and simply said that we should cover our own. With a smirk, I handed him two dollars to cover my drink, snagged my coffee, and went to sit down – leaving him (none too happily) to wrap things up with the Barista.
Dre did pay his way and then came over to the table. He then proceeded to guzzle down his drink, eat his banana bread, and talk with his mouth full the entire time. To say I was revolted would be greatly minimizing it. The second time that a piece of food fell out of his mouth onto the table, I almost wretched on the spot. Regardless of all of these offenses I persisted . . . and then strike three.
After about twenty minutes of him droning on about his work (BORING), he inquired about what I wanted to do next. I told him that we agreed to a coffee date, so unless he wanted to walk around the mall, then I did not have any other intentions. Dre says “I am too tired to walk around the mall. Let’s go back to your place.” I’m all “That isn’t going to happen. Do you want to walk around the mall or call it a night?” Dre says “Come on. Let’s just go back to your place.” Apparently he is stuck on stupid.
I respond again “So not going to happen. I guess we will call it a night.” Dre says “Don’t be a prude. Let’s just go back to your place.” WTF?!? Really with this?!? I respond, “You are too tired to walk around the mall, but you have the energy to go back to my place and do what? Take a nap? I don’t think so. I am finished here.” I stood up and prepared to leave and Dre did the same. Apparently there was a misunderstanding though – he thought he was coming with me because he said “So, back to your place?”
OMFG!
My loud reply “I am going back to my place. You are going to your place. And I have no intention of ever seeing you again. Apparently you think I am a whore, but I can assure you that I am not. Good riddance!”
He did have the grace to look shocked . . . but most likely only because I said it really loudly for everyone in the Starbuck’s to hear. And they did hear . . . several people laughed and one man stood up and looked like he was going to intervene if necessary. I was good though . . . and just exited the coffeehouse with pride in tact.
You would think that Dre would have gotten the point . . . but he didn’t really. He text messaged me almost immediately requesting a second chance. Really? Cracka please! Do I look mentally challenged? If you are going to act like that after meeting me for the first time – and for thirty minutes – your behavior has nowhere to but down from there (as if it were even possible!). I sent a reply instructing him to get lost and never contact me again . . . which, of course, did not go over well. I was barraged with text messages telling me that I am a prude . . . that I overreacted to his ‘joke’ . . . that I am clearly afraid of being in a serious relationship . . . and so on. After I threatened to post his personal contact information online on a popular revenge website, he relented and has since left me alone. But, boy can I pick them or what?!? I swear . . . they seem so nice and innocuous when you are talking to them on IM and the on the phone. But, true tools cannot hide their ignorance for long . . . this one showed his true colors immediately. At least I didn’t waste anything more than a coffee date on him . . . and any excuse for me to get Starbuck’s is a good one. ;)
That’s it for now for the Hall of Shame . . . and for now the other women in southeastern Pennsylvania should be safe from this wacko. He deleted his online profile after our date too. What a total jerk!
So, a few helpful hints to all of my single guy pals:
1) Be on time . . . tardiness is not easily tolerated. No one likes to wait . . . especially for a stranger.
2) Pay for the woman. I know women are supposed to be liberated and all that rot . . . but be a man and cover the first date. If you do not, it makes you look weak, cheap, and really like a complete loser.
3) I don't care what the situation is - it is never socially acceptable to talk with your mouth full. It is nasty and really just shows the woman you are with that you have absolutely no manners and displays gross disrespect to the person you are with. Knock that shit off immediately!
4) Take cues from the body language of the person you are with. If you are unfamiliar with the common signs that someone is not into you, take a few minutes and Google it. It will save you some trouble and embarrassment going forward.
5) Last, but certainly not least, don't ever treat your date like a slut. If a woman wants you to go home with her, she will invite you. Don't be a reject and ask. If you have to ask, you already know what the answer is going to be and nothing good can follow that slap in the face.
I had been talking with this guy, Dre (yes that really was his name . . . he showed me his driver’s license) for several weeks and finally decided to make the big leap and meet him in person. Because I am so cynical these days, I did elect to go for the coffee date (as most of you know it is best to do that so that you can get out of a bad situation fast and without any sort of commitment). Well, he chose to have us meet at a Starbuck’s in the King of Prussia Mall. Not a big deal, but the locations in the mall are not really conducive to being able to hang out for a while and get to know someone – but whatever! I said he could pick where to meet, so I had to stick with it.
Strike one - Dre was twenty minutes late. And I have a major issue with people that cannot manage time properly. Luckily I was at the mall, so I didn’t mind that much . . . but it was still strike one in my book. You don’t show up late to a first date . . . it just makes a bad impression.
Strike two came shortly thereafter. We went up to the counter and I ordered my coffee first. He then ordered a snack and a coffee. Then – in an unparalleled event in my life – he says to me “Why don’t you get this?”. Ummm how about hell to the no!?!? I’m the girl! And you can’t spring two dollars for a cup of coffee? Cheap ass loser . . . and I sure as freak am not going to pony up five dollars for your sugary drink and snack. I did, though, decide to handle it with grace and simply said that we should cover our own. With a smirk, I handed him two dollars to cover my drink, snagged my coffee, and went to sit down – leaving him (none too happily) to wrap things up with the Barista.
Dre did pay his way and then came over to the table. He then proceeded to guzzle down his drink, eat his banana bread, and talk with his mouth full the entire time. To say I was revolted would be greatly minimizing it. The second time that a piece of food fell out of his mouth onto the table, I almost wretched on the spot. Regardless of all of these offenses I persisted . . . and then strike three.
After about twenty minutes of him droning on about his work (BORING), he inquired about what I wanted to do next. I told him that we agreed to a coffee date, so unless he wanted to walk around the mall, then I did not have any other intentions. Dre says “I am too tired to walk around the mall. Let’s go back to your place.” I’m all “That isn’t going to happen. Do you want to walk around the mall or call it a night?” Dre says “Come on. Let’s just go back to your place.” Apparently he is stuck on stupid.
I respond again “So not going to happen. I guess we will call it a night.” Dre says “Don’t be a prude. Let’s just go back to your place.” WTF?!? Really with this?!? I respond, “You are too tired to walk around the mall, but you have the energy to go back to my place and do what? Take a nap? I don’t think so. I am finished here.” I stood up and prepared to leave and Dre did the same. Apparently there was a misunderstanding though – he thought he was coming with me because he said “So, back to your place?”
OMFG!
My loud reply “I am going back to my place. You are going to your place. And I have no intention of ever seeing you again. Apparently you think I am a whore, but I can assure you that I am not. Good riddance!”
He did have the grace to look shocked . . . but most likely only because I said it really loudly for everyone in the Starbuck’s to hear. And they did hear . . . several people laughed and one man stood up and looked like he was going to intervene if necessary. I was good though . . . and just exited the coffeehouse with pride in tact.
You would think that Dre would have gotten the point . . . but he didn’t really. He text messaged me almost immediately requesting a second chance. Really? Cracka please! Do I look mentally challenged? If you are going to act like that after meeting me for the first time – and for thirty minutes – your behavior has nowhere to but down from there (as if it were even possible!). I sent a reply instructing him to get lost and never contact me again . . . which, of course, did not go over well. I was barraged with text messages telling me that I am a prude . . . that I overreacted to his ‘joke’ . . . that I am clearly afraid of being in a serious relationship . . . and so on. After I threatened to post his personal contact information online on a popular revenge website, he relented and has since left me alone. But, boy can I pick them or what?!? I swear . . . they seem so nice and innocuous when you are talking to them on IM and the on the phone. But, true tools cannot hide their ignorance for long . . . this one showed his true colors immediately. At least I didn’t waste anything more than a coffee date on him . . . and any excuse for me to get Starbuck’s is a good one. ;)
That’s it for now for the Hall of Shame . . . and for now the other women in southeastern Pennsylvania should be safe from this wacko. He deleted his online profile after our date too. What a total jerk!
So, a few helpful hints to all of my single guy pals:
1) Be on time . . . tardiness is not easily tolerated. No one likes to wait . . . especially for a stranger.
2) Pay for the woman. I know women are supposed to be liberated and all that rot . . . but be a man and cover the first date. If you do not, it makes you look weak, cheap, and really like a complete loser.
3) I don't care what the situation is - it is never socially acceptable to talk with your mouth full. It is nasty and really just shows the woman you are with that you have absolutely no manners and displays gross disrespect to the person you are with. Knock that shit off immediately!
4) Take cues from the body language of the person you are with. If you are unfamiliar with the common signs that someone is not into you, take a few minutes and Google it. It will save you some trouble and embarrassment going forward.
5) Last, but certainly not least, don't ever treat your date like a slut. If a woman wants you to go home with her, she will invite you. Don't be a reject and ask. If you have to ask, you already know what the answer is going to be and nothing good can follow that slap in the face.
Monday, December 27, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXV
So, I do not normally post these blogs in such rapid succession . . . but this TOOL completely deserved to get his moment in the spotlight.
Here’s the scenario . . . we have been exchanging casual emails for a couple of weeks now and his ‘office’ was allegedly closed today, so we had more of an opportunity to communicate. Yeah . . . that wasn’t a good thing. I am not going to post the entire conversation, but I behaved in my emails to him the way that I normally do. I am relatively honest, but kept things casual – especially in light of the fact that he has posted very prominently in his profile that he wants to become friends before progressing to anything else. I am completely respectful of that . . . but it does make me a little bit leery of his actual status and intentions. Most guys are not looking for friends on a dating site . . . and if they say they are, they are probably lying. This guy was . . .
Here is my disclaimer before you read this:
1. I love people that have tattoos and I am not judgemental of them. But, piss me off and see what I have to say to you.
2. I have loads of friends that are single parents and I do not judge them, nor consider their children born out of wedlock to be bastards. But if you show disregard for your child, I will . . . and will not be quiet about it.
3. I do not consider anyone stupid or uneducated until they prove that to me through their words or actions.
Now that I have made my disclaimer, check out the email chain from my loser of the day!
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:35 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
I just wanted to let you know that. And I was a boy scout, so you know I am only speaking the truth.
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:45 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
That is kind of you to say . . .
As a Boy Scout, did you have to take some sort of oath that would ensure that you are unable to lie?
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:55 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
So, wassup?
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:02 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Nothing profound . . . I shoveled out my car earlier and am now making chili for dinner later. What are you up to?
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:05 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
lol if you wanna know something ask .... you know what it is talking about yourself ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:08 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Mmm . . . okay . . . I thought I asked a question there. So, why don’t you tell me what it is you do for a living. Your profile was non-specific about it.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:11 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Yes upon request , lol . Well I work in an office and I take care of myself
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:13 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Ah . . . okay . . . still non-specific. Not really an answer at all.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:15 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Why don’t you just call me and we can get specific.
Are you down to earth ... we are typing but i sense a bit of ...well uppityness lol
Sorry im upfront and blunt no reason to think it and not say it ...right?
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:17 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
I am a down to earth type of person. I'm not sure why you would think I am uppity . . . I know who and what I am and don't make apologies for it. If you think I am arrogant because I am conservative then that is up to you to decide. It won't change who I am.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:22 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
LOL it is not what your saying but how your saying ... who asked to change you , lol , i dont kno why ur saying that ... you seem uptight also i guess . Down to earth to me is being able to enjoy one anothers convos and be able to talk about anything ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:24 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
You are entitled to your perception . . . I thought we were having a relatively open dialogue.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:28 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Dialogue?? Yes I know the meaning but who uses it really?? Look I dont think we are a match plus I think your lying about ur age , lol .
uppity , snobby , w/e you call it ....its there loosen up and have fun sweets ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:32 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
You think I am lying about my age? How old do you think I am?
Very odd . . . but I'll take being snobby I guess. Apparently being educated is a bad thing in your world.
And no one lies about being 35. That's ridiculous!
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:38 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
My "world"?
So I have no education and you exceed my level ?? Would never happen.
you look older, much, much older~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:50 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Wow . . . you are very angry for a middle-aged white man, now aren’t you? You went from zero to sixty in about ten seconds flat there.
Let me enlighten you about a few things before I release you to the universe and block your disgusting ass from contacting me again. Maybe, just maybe, you will learn something and not be a complete TOOL the next time you contact a woman on this site.
1) If you will not even explain what you do for a job, it makes women think you do not have one. No one was asking you for the name of the company you work for, just the nature of it. Get a grip on yourself . . . you know you are unemployed and living with your mommy. And your ‘office’ is your basement bedroom. Oh! And since you allegedly live in King of Prussia, I am sure your office was not closed. We only got about six inches of snow. Janker!
2) The topic of your daughter is “off-limits” according to you, yet you have her picture posted on your dating profile. What an ass you are! If you do not want people to ask about her, take down the damn picture. Fool!
3) You are single, not divorced, and you were very specific about that at several points in your profile. Just something to consider . . . by doing so, you are announcing to the world (repeatedly) that your child is a bastard . . . and that you are too. You clearly have no concept of birth control or at least did not have the decency to marry her mother (who you are not very complimentary of in your profile). Yet, you still think you are some sort of God. Well, let me enlighten you that you are not. Being able to create a child and bring them into the world doesn’t make you anything other than a careless jerk. And if you aren’t happy with the woman that is your child’s mother, it is your own damn fault for having sex with her to begin with. That also should remind you of what a fool you are.
4) Your tattoos are not sexy. Only a deviant would find them so and I find it next to impossible to believe that you could work in any ‘office’ with tattoos on your face, neck and with full sleeves. Step away from the crack pipe and get a grip on reality. If you were smarter (which clearly you are not), you would pass yourself off as a construction worker. That is about the only work you could do in Pennsylvania looking that way. Because, in case you missed it, we are a very conservative state . . . all about professionalism. That star tattoo on your face makes you look like the jack donkey that you are.
5) Age . . . a very sensitive issue for women. Luckily, I know I look damn good for my age, so I am completely unconcerned with your opinion. Especially in light of the fact that you did such horrible damage to your own appearance with the tattoos, tanning, and what appears to be a lifetime of smoking – if the wrinkles on your alleged 37 year old face are anything to go by. I have seen smaller grooves in the Grand Canyon! Look in the mirror before casting dispersions on others.
6) Last, but certainly not least, you know you are uneducated. Let’s not try to kid one another here . . . you have nothing to offer anyone. You are a single father, a tattooed freak, and abusive to women. If I seem “uppity” to you, it is because you are so far beneath me on every single level, that you could never do anything but look up to me. And I am down with being snobby. It protects me from the dregs of society – people like you. Clearly, you struck a wrong note with me . . . and I am sure you will continue to do so with every woman you come into contact with. Know what I recommend? Sterilization . . . isolation . . . and education. Three things for you to work on. Get to it . . .
I’m off now . . . I wish you the very worst! Miserable New Year!!!
Jenny
P.S. You have been blocked from contacting me . . . don’t waste your precious brain cells trying to respond.
Here’s the scenario . . . we have been exchanging casual emails for a couple of weeks now and his ‘office’ was allegedly closed today, so we had more of an opportunity to communicate. Yeah . . . that wasn’t a good thing. I am not going to post the entire conversation, but I behaved in my emails to him the way that I normally do. I am relatively honest, but kept things casual – especially in light of the fact that he has posted very prominently in his profile that he wants to become friends before progressing to anything else. I am completely respectful of that . . . but it does make me a little bit leery of his actual status and intentions. Most guys are not looking for friends on a dating site . . . and if they say they are, they are probably lying. This guy was . . .
Here is my disclaimer before you read this:
1. I love people that have tattoos and I am not judgemental of them. But, piss me off and see what I have to say to you.
2. I have loads of friends that are single parents and I do not judge them, nor consider their children born out of wedlock to be bastards. But if you show disregard for your child, I will . . . and will not be quiet about it.
3. I do not consider anyone stupid or uneducated until they prove that to me through their words or actions.
Now that I have made my disclaimer, check out the email chain from my loser of the day!
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:35 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
I just wanted to let you know that. And I was a boy scout, so you know I am only speaking the truth.
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:45 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
That is kind of you to say . . .
As a Boy Scout, did you have to take some sort of oath that would ensure that you are unable to lie?
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 10:55 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
So, wassup?
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:02 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Nothing profound . . . I shoveled out my car earlier and am now making chili for dinner later. What are you up to?
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:05 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
lol if you wanna know something ask .... you know what it is talking about yourself ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:08 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Mmm . . . okay . . . I thought I asked a question there. So, why don’t you tell me what it is you do for a living. Your profile was non-specific about it.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:11 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Yes upon request , lol . Well I work in an office and I take care of myself
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:13 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Ah . . . okay . . . still non-specific. Not really an answer at all.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:15 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Why don’t you just call me and we can get specific.
Are you down to earth ... we are typing but i sense a bit of ...well uppityness lol
Sorry im upfront and blunt no reason to think it and not say it ...right?
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:17 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
I am a down to earth type of person. I'm not sure why you would think I am uppity . . . I know who and what I am and don't make apologies for it. If you think I am arrogant because I am conservative then that is up to you to decide. It won't change who I am.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:22 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
LOL it is not what your saying but how your saying ... who asked to change you , lol , i dont kno why ur saying that ... you seem uptight also i guess . Down to earth to me is being able to enjoy one anothers convos and be able to talk about anything ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:24 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
You are entitled to your perception . . . I thought we were having a relatively open dialogue.
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:28 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
Dialogue?? Yes I know the meaning but who uses it really?? Look I dont think we are a match plus I think your lying about ur age , lol .
uppity , snobby , w/e you call it ....its there loosen up and have fun sweets ~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:32 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
You think I am lying about my age? How old do you think I am?
Very odd . . . but I'll take being snobby I guess. Apparently being educated is a bad thing in your world.
And no one lies about being 35. That's ridiculous!
***
From: PhillyPflunkie
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:38 am
Subject: You have a beautiful smile
My "world"?
So I have no education and you exceed my level ?? Would never happen.
you look older, much, much older~
***
From: Jenny
To: PhillyPflunkie
Date: Dec. 27, 2010 – 11:50 am
Subject: Re: You have a beautiful smile
Wow . . . you are very angry for a middle-aged white man, now aren’t you? You went from zero to sixty in about ten seconds flat there.
Let me enlighten you about a few things before I release you to the universe and block your disgusting ass from contacting me again. Maybe, just maybe, you will learn something and not be a complete TOOL the next time you contact a woman on this site.
1) If you will not even explain what you do for a job, it makes women think you do not have one. No one was asking you for the name of the company you work for, just the nature of it. Get a grip on yourself . . . you know you are unemployed and living with your mommy. And your ‘office’ is your basement bedroom. Oh! And since you allegedly live in King of Prussia, I am sure your office was not closed. We only got about six inches of snow. Janker!
2) The topic of your daughter is “off-limits” according to you, yet you have her picture posted on your dating profile. What an ass you are! If you do not want people to ask about her, take down the damn picture. Fool!
3) You are single, not divorced, and you were very specific about that at several points in your profile. Just something to consider . . . by doing so, you are announcing to the world (repeatedly) that your child is a bastard . . . and that you are too. You clearly have no concept of birth control or at least did not have the decency to marry her mother (who you are not very complimentary of in your profile). Yet, you still think you are some sort of God. Well, let me enlighten you that you are not. Being able to create a child and bring them into the world doesn’t make you anything other than a careless jerk. And if you aren’t happy with the woman that is your child’s mother, it is your own damn fault for having sex with her to begin with. That also should remind you of what a fool you are.
4) Your tattoos are not sexy. Only a deviant would find them so and I find it next to impossible to believe that you could work in any ‘office’ with tattoos on your face, neck and with full sleeves. Step away from the crack pipe and get a grip on reality. If you were smarter (which clearly you are not), you would pass yourself off as a construction worker. That is about the only work you could do in Pennsylvania looking that way. Because, in case you missed it, we are a very conservative state . . . all about professionalism. That star tattoo on your face makes you look like the jack donkey that you are.
5) Age . . . a very sensitive issue for women. Luckily, I know I look damn good for my age, so I am completely unconcerned with your opinion. Especially in light of the fact that you did such horrible damage to your own appearance with the tattoos, tanning, and what appears to be a lifetime of smoking – if the wrinkles on your alleged 37 year old face are anything to go by. I have seen smaller grooves in the Grand Canyon! Look in the mirror before casting dispersions on others.
6) Last, but certainly not least, you know you are uneducated. Let’s not try to kid one another here . . . you have nothing to offer anyone. You are a single father, a tattooed freak, and abusive to women. If I seem “uppity” to you, it is because you are so far beneath me on every single level, that you could never do anything but look up to me. And I am down with being snobby. It protects me from the dregs of society – people like you. Clearly, you struck a wrong note with me . . . and I am sure you will continue to do so with every woman you come into contact with. Know what I recommend? Sterilization . . . isolation . . . and education. Three things for you to work on. Get to it . . .
I’m off now . . . I wish you the very worst! Miserable New Year!!!
Jenny
P.S. You have been blocked from contacting me . . . don’t waste your precious brain cells trying to respond.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXIV
Ha ha ha ha ha . . . boy was I having a bad day when I emailed this janker! But, he did deserve it . . .
This jackoff was from the dating site that I have a profile on. The site has been good (overall), but these crackheads squeak through with frightening regularity.
So, be warned that the message contains some level of inflammatory comments, including foul language, politically incorrect references to mentally challenged individuals, and attacks on the residents of New Jersey. Please don’t think that I dislike all people in Jersey . . . just those that act like the cast of Jersey Shore. My favorite guy at the moment happens to be from New Jersey and he is nothing like those meatheads!
Enjoy!!! And I did block him . . . you know I had to. Boy did I poke that bear! ;)
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 8:34 pm
Subject: Hi
Hi
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:02 pm
Subject: Hi
Hello . . . thanks for your message. How goes it?
I checked out your profile and you seem to be rather varied in your interests. Can I ask what captured your attention about my profile?
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:14 pm
Subject: tony
it goes good... call me now 609 647 1**5
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:40 pm
Subject: tony
I don't really call people before getting to know them online...I am conservative like that. Did you see my second question in the initial email? I did notice that you mentioned you are always drawn towards older women - of which I am not one since you are five years older than I am. I am interested to know . . .
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:54 pm
Subject: tony
u seem like a total fuckin bitch
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 10:15 pm
Subject: tony
Oh lovely . . . Prince Charming is alive and now residing in New Jersey!! Clearly you are as you initially appeared to be – nothing but Jersey trash!
So, in an effort to do you a public service, let me bring a few items to your attention. And don’t worry, I will use common language . . . I know Neanderthal’s do not have a big vocabulary.
1) If you advertise yourself as someone that is solely interested in older women, why are you contacting women younger than you? Or did you not even take the time to check the age listed on my profile? Regardless, the fact that you are into cougars shows that you have serious ‘mommy’ issues that neither I, nor any woman with cognitive powers, would be interested in dealing with. I am sure though that there is a 65 year old woman out there just waiting for you to verbally thrash her. Maybe she can hit you with her cane!
2) If you are really interested in getting to know someone, read the emails that they send back to you. And, braniac, if they ask you a question . . . answer it! What a novel concept! I am not a whore, so I am not going to call you after two one line emails. What would that accomplish? Giving you an opportunity to abuse your two inches of screaming thunder? I don’t think so . . . I am sure there are hookers standing on the corner outside of your Jersey home that can help you out with that for ten dollars.
2) Jersey Shore isn’t looking for additional cast mates. You need to ditch the spray tan, puffy hair, wifebeater, and gold chains. You are 39 years old . . . you look like a retard! And I KNOW that I am not the only one that has told you that. Maybe, just maybe, you should consider a makeover! You are mentally challenged, so maybe a department store out there could hook you up. I have a friend at the Goodwill that I could put you in touch with. What they come up with couldn’t be any worse than the look you are rocking now!
3) NJ Cute Guy? Really? Who told you that? Your momma? Because she is the only one that would find your appearance in any way cute . . . so if you are trying to own the ‘GTL’, I would recommend that you spend a little more time in the gym so that you can get rid of the beer gut. And, clearly, you need to spend considerably little less time in the tanning booth. Oompa-Loompa’s have nothing on you! Freaking orange trash nightmare that you are! Laundry? Yeah . . . the stain on your collar in your picture just validates that you are a filthy pig.
4) Don’t give out your telephone number to women that you are going to verbally abuse! That just shows your complete inability to plan ahead. Now, what should I do with that number? Hmmm hmmm . . . guess you will find out when your phone blows up with calls related to this email (because you have now earned yourself a spot in my Hall of Shame blog series). I will be featuring you! What a great honor for a Jersey boy!
Now that I have shared my wisdom with you, I would suggest that you head out and change your cell phone number . . . because you have no idea the beast you awakened with your foul response to me.
Burn in hell!
~Jenny~
This jackoff was from the dating site that I have a profile on. The site has been good (overall), but these crackheads squeak through with frightening regularity.
So, be warned that the message contains some level of inflammatory comments, including foul language, politically incorrect references to mentally challenged individuals, and attacks on the residents of New Jersey. Please don’t think that I dislike all people in Jersey . . . just those that act like the cast of Jersey Shore. My favorite guy at the moment happens to be from New Jersey and he is nothing like those meatheads!
Enjoy!!! And I did block him . . . you know I had to. Boy did I poke that bear! ;)
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 8:34 pm
Subject: Hi
Hi
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:02 pm
Subject: Hi
Hello . . . thanks for your message. How goes it?
I checked out your profile and you seem to be rather varied in your interests. Can I ask what captured your attention about my profile?
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:14 pm
Subject: tony
it goes good... call me now 609 647 1**5
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:40 pm
Subject: tony
I don't really call people before getting to know them online...I am conservative like that. Did you see my second question in the initial email? I did notice that you mentioned you are always drawn towards older women - of which I am not one since you are five years older than I am. I am interested to know . . .
***
From: NJ_Ugly_Guy
To: Jenny
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 9:54 pm
Subject: tony
u seem like a total fuckin bitch
***
From: Jenny
To: NJ_Ugly_Guy
Date: Dec. 14, 2010 – 10:15 pm
Subject: tony
Oh lovely . . . Prince Charming is alive and now residing in New Jersey!! Clearly you are as you initially appeared to be – nothing but Jersey trash!
So, in an effort to do you a public service, let me bring a few items to your attention. And don’t worry, I will use common language . . . I know Neanderthal’s do not have a big vocabulary.
1) If you advertise yourself as someone that is solely interested in older women, why are you contacting women younger than you? Or did you not even take the time to check the age listed on my profile? Regardless, the fact that you are into cougars shows that you have serious ‘mommy’ issues that neither I, nor any woman with cognitive powers, would be interested in dealing with. I am sure though that there is a 65 year old woman out there just waiting for you to verbally thrash her. Maybe she can hit you with her cane!
2) If you are really interested in getting to know someone, read the emails that they send back to you. And, braniac, if they ask you a question . . . answer it! What a novel concept! I am not a whore, so I am not going to call you after two one line emails. What would that accomplish? Giving you an opportunity to abuse your two inches of screaming thunder? I don’t think so . . . I am sure there are hookers standing on the corner outside of your Jersey home that can help you out with that for ten dollars.
2) Jersey Shore isn’t looking for additional cast mates. You need to ditch the spray tan, puffy hair, wifebeater, and gold chains. You are 39 years old . . . you look like a retard! And I KNOW that I am not the only one that has told you that. Maybe, just maybe, you should consider a makeover! You are mentally challenged, so maybe a department store out there could hook you up. I have a friend at the Goodwill that I could put you in touch with. What they come up with couldn’t be any worse than the look you are rocking now!
3) NJ Cute Guy? Really? Who told you that? Your momma? Because she is the only one that would find your appearance in any way cute . . . so if you are trying to own the ‘GTL’, I would recommend that you spend a little more time in the gym so that you can get rid of the beer gut. And, clearly, you need to spend considerably little less time in the tanning booth. Oompa-Loompa’s have nothing on you! Freaking orange trash nightmare that you are! Laundry? Yeah . . . the stain on your collar in your picture just validates that you are a filthy pig.
4) Don’t give out your telephone number to women that you are going to verbally abuse! That just shows your complete inability to plan ahead. Now, what should I do with that number? Hmmm hmmm . . . guess you will find out when your phone blows up with calls related to this email (because you have now earned yourself a spot in my Hall of Shame blog series). I will be featuring you! What a great honor for a Jersey boy!
Now that I have shared my wisdom with you, I would suggest that you head out and change your cell phone number . . . because you have no idea the beast you awakened with your foul response to me.
Burn in hell!
~Jenny~
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXIII
Mmm . . . yeah . . . so there isn’t much that I can really share about this particular crackhead that messaged me on my dating profile. His stupidity is almost overwhelming and I knew right away that he just had to be featured in my Hall of Shame.
I am quite sure that he is at home right now abusing someone . . . or something. What a nightmare! But I did have a great time emailing him back to enumerate what a mentally dysfunctional piece of manhood he is! Happy reading!
***
From: DominantFool
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 1:02 pm
Subject: Possible Match
You are one of my quick matches for the week. I thought your profile was interesting. I am not a man to be dictated too though, so we may not match after all. This is the way I work.
I won’t tell you that you are beautiful – because you aren’t. But I will treat you well.
I won’t let you walk on me – because I am the man and always wear the pants. But I will allow you to have an opinion. I just won’t listen to it.
I won’t be your lapdog – because I lead and you follow. But I will let you choose the destination – at times.
I won’t embrace your independence – because I think you have already had too much of a taste of it. But I will allow you to take care of me.
I think you can accept these things and would thrive in my care. Message me back. I’ll be waiting.
Bill
***
From: Jenny
To: DominantFool
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 5:27 pm
Subject: Re: Possible Match
Wow . . . Bill . . . there really aren’t words to appropriately express my displeasure at having been one of your quick matches for the week. This web site is CLEARLY doing something very wrong if they thought that we could be even remotely compatible.
But, let me clear up a few things for you . . .
1) I don’t need someone that looks like Where’s Waldo telling me that I am not beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . . . but you clearly have a warped perception of beauty. I would like to think that you have reacted so violently to my appearance because it made you even more cognizant of the fact that you are a troll that should be guarding a bridge somewhere. But, sadly, I don’t think you are that self-aware. I suggest you step away from the computer and return to your bridge. No one wants you . . .
2) You will treat me well . . . mmm . . . I don’t think so. Anyone that starts out by insulting me cannot go anywhere but down. Somehow I think that you are one of those controlling and abusive men that I have had the misfortune to encounter more times than I am comfortable with. I recommend that you stick with abusing yourself . . . because one of these days, you will attack the wrong person and find yourself on the receiving end of a Bobbitization. I kind of wish I could be that person . . .
3) You will allow me to have an opinion – yet you don’t care about it. Really? Wow! That is just swell of you! But, let me assure you, no one cares about your needs less than a strong, self-assured woman like myself. You need to return to therapy and figure out what it is about yourself that is so horrible that you think you need to control someone else to feel like a man. You are just sad and pathetic.
4) Lapdog? I want no part of a lapdog and my profile does not insinuate such a thing in any way, shape, or form. I would never want to be with a weak and spineless man . . . but, I also can’t be with someone that thinks it is okay to control every aspect of my life. And, believe me, the day will NEVER come when I have to follow anyone. The only place I think you could lead anyone to is hell. And I can earn my own trip there.
5) A woman can never have too much independence. You have clearly had some sort of psychotic break . . . or have quite simply forgotten that this is 2010 . . . women rule this world. Men are just the ones that clean up after us. The sooner you recognize that and submit to the higher power that women are now, the happier you will be.
6) In case you have not yet figured this out for yourself, I am not interested in you – or anything about you – except maybe in trying to protect the rest of the women in the world from your foul behavior. I could never live with a loserville like you and your controlling actions. And I am glad you were waiting for my response. I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Somehow I think I got a lot more pleasure from it than you did.
Now I suggest you run along and re-evaluate every aspect of your life and personality. Otherwise you are destined to die alone . . . the same way that you have surely lived your entire life.
Don’t be mad now . . . I’m just trying to help a guy out! Now shoo you pest! And don’t bother to try and reply to my message . . . I have already blocked you. I know it isn’t possible to truly penetrate that thick skull of yours . . . and I refuse to spend any more of my valuable energy debating the reality of the world with you.
~ Jenny
I am quite sure that he is at home right now abusing someone . . . or something. What a nightmare! But I did have a great time emailing him back to enumerate what a mentally dysfunctional piece of manhood he is! Happy reading!
***
From: DominantFool
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 1:02 pm
Subject: Possible Match
You are one of my quick matches for the week. I thought your profile was interesting. I am not a man to be dictated too though, so we may not match after all. This is the way I work.
I won’t tell you that you are beautiful – because you aren’t. But I will treat you well.
I won’t let you walk on me – because I am the man and always wear the pants. But I will allow you to have an opinion. I just won’t listen to it.
I won’t be your lapdog – because I lead and you follow. But I will let you choose the destination – at times.
I won’t embrace your independence – because I think you have already had too much of a taste of it. But I will allow you to take care of me.
I think you can accept these things and would thrive in my care. Message me back. I’ll be waiting.
Bill
***
From: Jenny
To: DominantFool
Date: Sep. 12, 2010 – 5:27 pm
Subject: Re: Possible Match
Wow . . . Bill . . . there really aren’t words to appropriately express my displeasure at having been one of your quick matches for the week. This web site is CLEARLY doing something very wrong if they thought that we could be even remotely compatible.
But, let me clear up a few things for you . . .
1) I don’t need someone that looks like Where’s Waldo telling me that I am not beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . . . but you clearly have a warped perception of beauty. I would like to think that you have reacted so violently to my appearance because it made you even more cognizant of the fact that you are a troll that should be guarding a bridge somewhere. But, sadly, I don’t think you are that self-aware. I suggest you step away from the computer and return to your bridge. No one wants you . . .
2) You will treat me well . . . mmm . . . I don’t think so. Anyone that starts out by insulting me cannot go anywhere but down. Somehow I think that you are one of those controlling and abusive men that I have had the misfortune to encounter more times than I am comfortable with. I recommend that you stick with abusing yourself . . . because one of these days, you will attack the wrong person and find yourself on the receiving end of a Bobbitization. I kind of wish I could be that person . . .
3) You will allow me to have an opinion – yet you don’t care about it. Really? Wow! That is just swell of you! But, let me assure you, no one cares about your needs less than a strong, self-assured woman like myself. You need to return to therapy and figure out what it is about yourself that is so horrible that you think you need to control someone else to feel like a man. You are just sad and pathetic.
4) Lapdog? I want no part of a lapdog and my profile does not insinuate such a thing in any way, shape, or form. I would never want to be with a weak and spineless man . . . but, I also can’t be with someone that thinks it is okay to control every aspect of my life. And, believe me, the day will NEVER come when I have to follow anyone. The only place I think you could lead anyone to is hell. And I can earn my own trip there.
5) A woman can never have too much independence. You have clearly had some sort of psychotic break . . . or have quite simply forgotten that this is 2010 . . . women rule this world. Men are just the ones that clean up after us. The sooner you recognize that and submit to the higher power that women are now, the happier you will be.
6) In case you have not yet figured this out for yourself, I am not interested in you – or anything about you – except maybe in trying to protect the rest of the women in the world from your foul behavior. I could never live with a loserville like you and your controlling actions. And I am glad you were waiting for my response. I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Somehow I think I got a lot more pleasure from it than you did.
Now I suggest you run along and re-evaluate every aspect of your life and personality. Otherwise you are destined to die alone . . . the same way that you have surely lived your entire life.
Don’t be mad now . . . I’m just trying to help a guy out! Now shoo you pest! And don’t bother to try and reply to my message . . . I have already blocked you. I know it isn’t possible to truly penetrate that thick skull of yours . . . and I refuse to spend any more of my valuable energy debating the reality of the world with you.
~ Jenny
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXII
So, I decided to take a bit of a break from sharing the lame-ass emails I have been getting from ‘men of interest’ online . . . just so that everyone doesn’t think that I am a total bitch all of the time. But, I got one email this week that just begged to be included in the series . . . some asses are just too good to keep to myself.
This email came from a loser on the dating web site that I use . . . he is 49, divorced, and the father of FOUR! Apparently, when he isn’t busy propagating the species, he trolls the Internet for women to attack. I think he got a bit more than he bargained for when he made his personal mission to help this girl out. Suckerbunny!
***
From: Asshat
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 4, 3020 – 8:32 am
Subject: A mission to help you out…
A shame that such a potentially good profile is marred with a lack of humility or sensitivity. No, I am not interested, but felt that I absolutely had to let you know how you come across, and it's not positive. I am sure you are a nice girl, but demanding, pompous writing will only get you weak, spineless weirdos who are attracted to a facsimile of their mother. If I am wrong, please forgive my intrusion, but you should consider turning the bitch-o-meter down just a tad ( if you are brutally honest, then you will appreciate the same). Good luck with your search.
***
From: Jenny
To: Asshat
Date: Sep. 4, 3020 – 9:10 pm
Subject: Re: A mission to help you out…
It's amazing that a geriatric wanna-be player thinks that there is a problem with my profile. The reality is that someone as pathetic as you could never live up to even the most meager of my expectations. Inasmuch as you think your email was helpful, it isn't - because I am quite confident that no one cares what you think . . . especially not me.
Just a helpful hint for you, coming across as a total douche bag isn't attractive . . . just because you could NEVER handle a woman that is independent, assertive, and strong does not mean that you should attack them. I am sure that your now ex-wife left your sorry ass behind because you tried to keep her barefoot, pregnant, and silent in your home.
Your Neanderthal opinion is not welcome here. In the future, you would be well-advised to keep your asshat comments to yourself until someone solicits them . . . otherwise, your old ass will never find another sorry sucker to marry. One last thing . . . do the world a favor and stop breeding. You are just damaging the world by continuing to spread yourself about.
And, in case you didn’t figure it out yet, I’m not interested either . . . and am blocking you from contacting me again with more of your Alzheimer-induced rantings.
***
Follow-Up: So, I blocked this man from emailing me again . . . not a surprise because I told him I was going to. He is such a total wackadoodle that he actually created another profile in order to respond to my message. His response?
***
From: Asshat2
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 6, 3020 – 7:10 pm
Subject: Still trying to help you out…
You know you come across as a total cunt. You are going to have to block everyone on the site if you keep that attitude. Fat girls are rumored to be nice. Not the case with you. Oh well. Your loss.
***
From: Jenny
To: Asshat2
Date: Sep. 6, 3020 – 8:22 pm
Subject: Re: Still trying to help you out…
Wow! You are even more pathetic than I ever envisioned! You should be so proud of yourself . . . because you have just won a place in my Hall of Shame blog series. And I may even put a link to your active profile so that everyone can see what a giant piece of shit you are!
Just a few thoughts . . . you know, to help a guy out.
You can’t use the word cunt . . . if there is anyone here that epitomizes that word, it would be you. Clearly you have been emasculated by someone in your life. You should not take out your issues with your mother on me.
Additionally, I am quite all right with continuing to block the mentally challenged men on this site. If I wanted to settle for spending my life with a waste of skin, I could gladly do that. But, since I have self-respect, confidence, and intelligence on my side, that isn’t necessary. You, however, should consider switching teams. I think that there is a great man out there that could rape you into submission – or at least help you to form some general human decency.
Last, but certainly not least, all fat women are not nice. Some of us do not have to be nice . . . because we are beautiful in our own right. I can be a total bitch and still have men lining up around the block to be with me. Whoever told you that fat chicks are nice clearly didn’t spend much time around them. We will kick your sorry ass to the curb after five seconds. Why is that? Because we can ALWAYS do better . . . and, in your case, it wouldn’t be hard. I know men in prison that are better people than you are.
Now . . . I am going to report your emails to me as abusive to the site administrator. And your IP address will get blocked from further damaging the real women on this web site – of which none of them would be interested in anything to do with you. Unless you count wanting to castrate you. I totally volunteer to lead that pack . . .
Now fuck off!
***
Final Follow-Up: This loser and his accounts were deactivated from the web site . . . and his IP address was blocked from creating additional accounts. I know that is a small victory - because you can always switch IP addresses . . . but it was at least something! One less loser was at least temporarily removed from the site. Go Jenny!
This email came from a loser on the dating web site that I use . . . he is 49, divorced, and the father of FOUR! Apparently, when he isn’t busy propagating the species, he trolls the Internet for women to attack. I think he got a bit more than he bargained for when he made his personal mission to help this girl out. Suckerbunny!
***
From: Asshat
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 4, 3020 – 8:32 am
Subject: A mission to help you out…
A shame that such a potentially good profile is marred with a lack of humility or sensitivity. No, I am not interested, but felt that I absolutely had to let you know how you come across, and it's not positive. I am sure you are a nice girl, but demanding, pompous writing will only get you weak, spineless weirdos who are attracted to a facsimile of their mother. If I am wrong, please forgive my intrusion, but you should consider turning the bitch-o-meter down just a tad ( if you are brutally honest, then you will appreciate the same). Good luck with your search.
***
From: Jenny
To: Asshat
Date: Sep. 4, 3020 – 9:10 pm
Subject: Re: A mission to help you out…
It's amazing that a geriatric wanna-be player thinks that there is a problem with my profile. The reality is that someone as pathetic as you could never live up to even the most meager of my expectations. Inasmuch as you think your email was helpful, it isn't - because I am quite confident that no one cares what you think . . . especially not me.
Just a helpful hint for you, coming across as a total douche bag isn't attractive . . . just because you could NEVER handle a woman that is independent, assertive, and strong does not mean that you should attack them. I am sure that your now ex-wife left your sorry ass behind because you tried to keep her barefoot, pregnant, and silent in your home.
Your Neanderthal opinion is not welcome here. In the future, you would be well-advised to keep your asshat comments to yourself until someone solicits them . . . otherwise, your old ass will never find another sorry sucker to marry. One last thing . . . do the world a favor and stop breeding. You are just damaging the world by continuing to spread yourself about.
And, in case you didn’t figure it out yet, I’m not interested either . . . and am blocking you from contacting me again with more of your Alzheimer-induced rantings.
***
Follow-Up: So, I blocked this man from emailing me again . . . not a surprise because I told him I was going to. He is such a total wackadoodle that he actually created another profile in order to respond to my message. His response?
***
From: Asshat2
To: Jenny
Date: Sep. 6, 3020 – 7:10 pm
Subject: Still trying to help you out…
You know you come across as a total cunt. You are going to have to block everyone on the site if you keep that attitude. Fat girls are rumored to be nice. Not the case with you. Oh well. Your loss.
***
From: Jenny
To: Asshat2
Date: Sep. 6, 3020 – 8:22 pm
Subject: Re: Still trying to help you out…
Wow! You are even more pathetic than I ever envisioned! You should be so proud of yourself . . . because you have just won a place in my Hall of Shame blog series. And I may even put a link to your active profile so that everyone can see what a giant piece of shit you are!
Just a few thoughts . . . you know, to help a guy out.
You can’t use the word cunt . . . if there is anyone here that epitomizes that word, it would be you. Clearly you have been emasculated by someone in your life. You should not take out your issues with your mother on me.
Additionally, I am quite all right with continuing to block the mentally challenged men on this site. If I wanted to settle for spending my life with a waste of skin, I could gladly do that. But, since I have self-respect, confidence, and intelligence on my side, that isn’t necessary. You, however, should consider switching teams. I think that there is a great man out there that could rape you into submission – or at least help you to form some general human decency.
Last, but certainly not least, all fat women are not nice. Some of us do not have to be nice . . . because we are beautiful in our own right. I can be a total bitch and still have men lining up around the block to be with me. Whoever told you that fat chicks are nice clearly didn’t spend much time around them. We will kick your sorry ass to the curb after five seconds. Why is that? Because we can ALWAYS do better . . . and, in your case, it wouldn’t be hard. I know men in prison that are better people than you are.
Now . . . I am going to report your emails to me as abusive to the site administrator. And your IP address will get blocked from further damaging the real women on this web site – of which none of them would be interested in anything to do with you. Unless you count wanting to castrate you. I totally volunteer to lead that pack . . .
Now fuck off!
***
Final Follow-Up: This loser and his accounts were deactivated from the web site . . . and his IP address was blocked from creating additional accounts. I know that is a small victory - because you can always switch IP addresses . . . but it was at least something! One less loser was at least temporarily removed from the site. Go Jenny!
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXI
Oh baby! Do I have a Hall of Shame loser to share with you this round. I honestly cannot believe the people that email me with ‘interest’ on the dating site I use. Don’t get me wrong, I think the site is good overall . . . but I am seriously starting to wonder about the general sanity of the male species. I keep waiting for the day when I get an email that makes me all warm and fuzzy . . . in the interim, I get them that make me throw up in my mouth. Read on for the jerk of the week!
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 1:12 am
Subject: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Ur nu picturz get me turnd on! U get hawter every time. Hit me back n we can get 2gethr.
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 8:20 am
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Mmm . . . I’m going to go with a vehement ‘no’. And you really should type in complete sentences so that people can understand the message you are trying to convey. Emailing in text language is ridiculous for a 37 year old.
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 11:43 am
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
U kinda bitchy. I likez that mami. Du u wanna kno what I did last night?
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 4:11 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
I’m kind of bitchy? You have no idea how bitchy I am . . . you have yet to scratch the surface. And NO I do not want to know what you did last night. Get lost!
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 8:21 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
U make me hawt! Dat nu picture was fine! I prntd all ur pictures n came all over ur purty face. I no dat makes u want me.
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 10:14 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Oh my god! You are a filthy pig . . . and that does not make me want you, it makes me vomit in my mouth. I am physically ill at the very thought of someone engaging in such a lewd behavior. I can’t even imagine what sort of lowlife individual would behave like that, let alone admit it to the person that they victimized. But, in doing so, you sealed your fate of being blocked so that I never have to see your ugly face again – or hear from you.
Just a couple of take home points – because I am all about educating the masses:
1) You are way, way too old to be writing and acting like a ghetto teenager. Clean yourself up or prepare to be single for the remainder of your sorry life. Although, that being said, it would be the most decent thing you could do for the general population.
2) Stop calling every woman you come into any sort of contact with ‘mami’. I’m nobody’s mother – let alone a freakzoid pervert like you.
3) The very thought of you having your way with yourself while looking at my pictures is absolutely revolting. Clearly you have a sad and pathetic life if you have to get off while looking at pictures of a stranger. Let me recommend something to you . . . it’s called porn. Women that are in porn love when you do that. Classy women like me do not. We consider losers like you to be depraved.
4) No one wants you . . . and finding out about your extracurricular activities only reinforces that fact. Just be glad that God blessed you with two hands . . . you don’t have to worry about a partner. You are your own lover . . . keep it that way . . . and, whatever you do, do not procreate!
5) Telling a stranger about your perversions is never a good idea. And since you elected to do it, I am going to share it with the public. I’m forwarding your message to the moderator of the web site to get your foul self removed. And then I am going to share your message with all of my friends. Know why? Cause I’m kinda bitchy!
Jenny OUT!!!!
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 1:12 am
Subject: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Ur nu picturz get me turnd on! U get hawter every time. Hit me back n we can get 2gethr.
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 8:20 am
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Mmm . . . I’m going to go with a vehement ‘no’. And you really should type in complete sentences so that people can understand the message you are trying to convey. Emailing in text language is ridiculous for a 37 year old.
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 11:43 am
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
U kinda bitchy. I likez that mami. Du u wanna kno what I did last night?
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 4:11 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
I’m kind of bitchy? You have no idea how bitchy I am . . . you have yet to scratch the surface. And NO I do not want to know what you did last night. Get lost!
***
From: SlimyWeasel
To: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 8:21 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
U make me hawt! Dat nu picture was fine! I prntd all ur pictures n came all over ur purty face. I no dat makes u want me.
***
To: SlimyWeasel
From: Jenny
Date: July 28, 2010 10:14 pm
Subject: Re: Wat U Du 2 Me!
Oh my god! You are a filthy pig . . . and that does not make me want you, it makes me vomit in my mouth. I am physically ill at the very thought of someone engaging in such a lewd behavior. I can’t even imagine what sort of lowlife individual would behave like that, let alone admit it to the person that they victimized. But, in doing so, you sealed your fate of being blocked so that I never have to see your ugly face again – or hear from you.
Just a couple of take home points – because I am all about educating the masses:
1) You are way, way too old to be writing and acting like a ghetto teenager. Clean yourself up or prepare to be single for the remainder of your sorry life. Although, that being said, it would be the most decent thing you could do for the general population.
2) Stop calling every woman you come into any sort of contact with ‘mami’. I’m nobody’s mother – let alone a freakzoid pervert like you.
3) The very thought of you having your way with yourself while looking at my pictures is absolutely revolting. Clearly you have a sad and pathetic life if you have to get off while looking at pictures of a stranger. Let me recommend something to you . . . it’s called porn. Women that are in porn love when you do that. Classy women like me do not. We consider losers like you to be depraved.
4) No one wants you . . . and finding out about your extracurricular activities only reinforces that fact. Just be glad that God blessed you with two hands . . . you don’t have to worry about a partner. You are your own lover . . . keep it that way . . . and, whatever you do, do not procreate!
5) Telling a stranger about your perversions is never a good idea. And since you elected to do it, I am going to share it with the public. I’m forwarding your message to the moderator of the web site to get your foul self removed. And then I am going to share your message with all of my friends. Know why? Cause I’m kinda bitchy!
Jenny OUT!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
