The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXXVI

I do not normally put people in the Hall of Shame after physical dates . . . I truly do not want everyone out there to think that I am a hideous witch about every man I go out with. However, my loserville date from Thursday deserves his moment in the spotlight. At first I thought that I may have overreacted a bit to his abrasive and assuming behavior, but have since decided otherwise (largely due to his continued ignorance). So here is the scenario:

I had been talking with this guy, Dre (yes that really was his name . . . he showed me his driver’s license) for several weeks and finally decided to make the big leap and meet him in person. Because I am so cynical these days, I did elect to go for the coffee date (as most of you know it is best to do that so that you can get out of a bad situation fast and without any sort of commitment). Well, he chose to have us meet at a Starbuck’s in the King of Prussia Mall. Not a big deal, but the locations in the mall are not really conducive to being able to hang out for a while and get to know someone – but whatever! I said he could pick where to meet, so I had to stick with it.

Strike one - Dre was twenty minutes late. And I have a major issue with people that cannot manage time properly. Luckily I was at the mall, so I didn’t mind that much . . . but it was still strike one in my book. You don’t show up late to a first date . . . it just makes a bad impression.

Strike two came shortly thereafter. We went up to the counter and I ordered my coffee first. He then ordered a snack and a coffee. Then – in an unparalleled event in my life – he says to me “Why don’t you get this?”. Ummm how about hell to the no!?!? I’m the girl! And you can’t spring two dollars for a cup of coffee? Cheap ass loser . . . and I sure as freak am not going to pony up five dollars for your sugary drink and snack. I did, though, decide to handle it with grace and simply said that we should cover our own. With a smirk, I handed him two dollars to cover my drink, snagged my coffee, and went to sit down – leaving him (none too happily) to wrap things up with the Barista.

Dre did pay his way and then came over to the table. He then proceeded to guzzle down his drink, eat his banana bread, and talk with his mouth full the entire time. To say I was revolted would be greatly minimizing it. The second time that a piece of food fell out of his mouth onto the table, I almost wretched on the spot. Regardless of all of these offenses I persisted . . . and then strike three.

After about twenty minutes of him droning on about his work (BORING), he inquired about what I wanted to do next. I told him that we agreed to a coffee date, so unless he wanted to walk around the mall, then I did not have any other intentions. Dre says “I am too tired to walk around the mall. Let’s go back to your place.” I’m all “That isn’t going to happen. Do you want to walk around the mall or call it a night?” Dre says “Come on. Let’s just go back to your place.” Apparently he is stuck on stupid.

I respond again “So not going to happen. I guess we will call it a night.” Dre says “Don’t be a prude. Let’s just go back to your place.” WTF?!? Really with this?!? I respond, “You are too tired to walk around the mall, but you have the energy to go back to my place and do what? Take a nap? I don’t think so. I am finished here.” I stood up and prepared to leave and Dre did the same. Apparently there was a misunderstanding though – he thought he was coming with me because he said “So, back to your place?”

OMFG!

My loud reply “I am going back to my place. You are going to your place. And I have no intention of ever seeing you again. Apparently you think I am a whore, but I can assure you that I am not. Good riddance!”

He did have the grace to look shocked . . . but most likely only because I said it really loudly for everyone in the Starbuck’s to hear. And they did hear . . . several people laughed and one man stood up and looked like he was going to intervene if necessary. I was good though . . . and just exited the coffeehouse with pride in tact.

You would think that Dre would have gotten the point . . . but he didn’t really. He text messaged me almost immediately requesting a second chance. Really? Cracka please! Do I look mentally challenged? If you are going to act like that after meeting me for the first time – and for thirty minutes – your behavior has nowhere to but down from there (as if it were even possible!). I sent a reply instructing him to get lost and never contact me again . . . which, of course, did not go over well. I was barraged with text messages telling me that I am a prude . . . that I overreacted to his ‘joke’ . . . that I am clearly afraid of being in a serious relationship . . . and so on. After I threatened to post his personal contact information online on a popular revenge website, he relented and has since left me alone. But, boy can I pick them or what?!? I swear . . . they seem so nice and innocuous when you are talking to them on IM and the on the phone. But, true tools cannot hide their ignorance for long . . . this one showed his true colors immediately. At least I didn’t waste anything more than a coffee date on him . . . and any excuse for me to get Starbuck’s is a good one. ;)

That’s it for now for the Hall of Shame . . . and for now the other women in southeastern Pennsylvania should be safe from this wacko. He deleted his online profile after our date too. What a total jerk!

So, a few helpful hints to all of my single guy pals:
1) Be on time . . . tardiness is not easily tolerated. No one likes to wait . . . especially for a stranger.
2) Pay for the woman. I know women are supposed to be liberated and all that rot . . . but be a man and cover the first date. If you do not, it makes you look weak, cheap, and really like a complete loser.
3) I don't care what the situation is - it is never socially acceptable to talk with your mouth full. It is nasty and really just shows the woman you are with that you have absolutely no manners and displays gross disrespect to the person you are with. Knock that shit off immediately!
4) Take cues from the body language of the person you are with. If you are unfamiliar with the common signs that someone is not into you, take a few minutes and Google it. It will save you some trouble and embarrassment going forward.
5) Last, but certainly not least, don't ever treat your date like a slut. If a woman wants you to go home with her, she will invite you. Don't be a reject and ask. If you have to ask, you already know what the answer is going to be and nothing good can follow that slap in the face.