The Hall of Shame ~ Part XXVII

Hello everyone! I know, I know . . . it has been way too long since I graced you with an entry in the Hall of Shame. As with everything else, it isn’t because I have not had anything to write up . . . but the reality is quite simple. I have been too busy to mock the poor suckerbunnies that contact me!

For this Hall of Shame entry, I was caught between two people . . . the first retard that was in the running is actually a long-time ‘friend’. I eventually took the person out of the pool because I thought it was just too cruel of me to do it. But, the winning entry for the Hall of Shame was just too ridiculous to keep to myself.

As you may know, I was doing the whole online dating thing for a bit. It was a HOT mess! Not that it didn’t have some great moments – and a great outcome – but the majority of the people on the site that I elected to use were just beyond absurd. And, even now, when my profile clearly lists me as “Seeing Someone” and states that I am “Unavailable for romantic points of contact” it does not deter people from emailing me. Now, that being said, I want to point out to you that I said ‘people’ for a very specific reason here . . . because the person in this entry is a WOMAN! Oh yeah . . . a woman tried to pick me up on the dating site – even though my profile clearly has me listed as Straight. So, check out the email interaction below with this woman. I have to say that it is particularly awesome!

Remember as well . . . I have a personal rule that I always write back to people that contact me – just out of respect. I think that it is rude to ignore points of contact, because I would hate it if I put myself out there and someone couldn’t even take a second to respond to me. But, unlike most of these people, I would accept their response with dignity and move on with my life!

I also want to point out that I have several very good friends that are gay and I adore them. None of my comments are meant in any way, shape, or form meant to hurt or disparage anyone. But (as in all things), if you are going to pull this lion’s tail, you have to be prepared for the claws!

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To: Jenny
From: Not-So-HotChick4U
Date: 03/03/2010
Subject: U R Smokin!

The subject says it all. I came across your page and had to send you a message to make sure you know how smokin hot you are. I’m Rebecca and am looking to meet up with you soon. Send me a message back.

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To: Not-So-HotChick4U
From: Jenny
Date: 03/03/2010
Subject: Re: U R Smokin!

Thanks your very unusual message. However, I am actually in a committed, heterosexual relationship (as indicated on my profile) and am not looking to pursue anything new. Best wishes to you as you continue your search. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

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To: Jenny
From: Not-So-HotChick4U
Date: 03/03/2010
Subject: Re: U R Smokin!

Yeah right. Talk about denial. I know who you are and you are not with a guy. I’m not playing games here. Lets just exchange numbers and get something started.

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To: Not-So-HotChick4U
From: Jenny
Date: 03/03/2010
Subject: Re: U R Smokin!

Mmm . . . you must have me confused with someone else there Rebecca. Because you do not know who I am – nor do you know anything about me. So, I would suggest that you take your interest elsewhere.

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To: Jenny
From: Not-So-HotChick4U
Date: 03/04/2010
Subject: Re: U R Smokin!

I’m not confused. I know you know who I am. You can pretend that you don’t want to be with me, but I know the truth. You are hot and so I am. Two women that look the way we do belong together. Give me your number and lets roll.

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To: Not-So-HotChick4U
From: Jenny
Date: 03/04/2010
Subject: Re: U R Smokin!

You are beyond pathetic. If you want the truth, I will lay it out for you. If you knew me at all (which we both know you don’t), you would know how brutally honest I am. So, here it is:

1. If I were a lesbian, there is no way in HELL that I would be attracted to you. You look like a dude. And I would want someone that is at least as pretty as I am. As you said, I’m hot . . . let’s not pretend I’m not. You know I deserve better than you.

2. Two women that look the way we do belong together? I think you need a mirror . . . because you don’t look anything like a woman. Unless you are a cancer patient that is just growing back in your hair, you should consider a wig. And there is this great invention called make-up. You may want to run out to the nearest Sephora and request a consultation.

3. I am a heterosexual. I really do like the dick. When someone takes the time to tell you that, I would suggest that you believe them. By some miracle, if a man were to continuously hit on you, would you like it if he didn’t back off when you told him you were a raging lesbian? So take a note of this important lesson try to actually LISTEN when people respond to you. Most of the time, they are either trying to save hurting your feelings or – God forbid – telling the truth. Either way, you won’t get unnecessarily hurt in the process.

Now, Rebecca, wouldn’t this have been nicer had you just gone away after our first exchange? I am sure it goes without saying that I will be blocking you from contacting me again and reporting you for inappropriate contact on the site.